


Chaper 69

by Kabella



Category: Mötley Crüe, The Dirt (2019)
Genre: Anal Sex, Anger, Boyfriends, Brother-Sister Relationships, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Love, M/M, Mother-Son Relationship, Oral Sex, Past, Road Trips, Seattle, Terrorcest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:29:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23554585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kabella/pseuds/Kabella
Summary: Tommy and Nikki are taking a road trip to Nikki's hometown, Seattle. It's Nikki's way of saying I'm sorry, after a pretty fierce fight between the two. (Not included  in this writing. See note below). The relationship deepens as Nikki comes face to face with past demons and Tommy watches Nikki's way of handling things.
Relationships: Tommy Lee/Nikki Sixx
Comments: 28
Kudos: 25





	1. I Owe You

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, 
> 
> This is my first post here. This is a beta piece from a much larger project that I'm working on. I'm a Wattpad writer under the name Kajomon. I changed my name here, well because they're mash-ups of my pets' names. 2 of my Kajomon pets died, one recently. 
> 
> I'm a fairly new writer, since fall of 2019 on Wattpad. I've been checking out works here for the past 2 months or so, and I'm blown away by the level of writing. It's so good. I've been leaving ya'll guest kudos. Now that I'm in here, I'll have to go back and leave proper feedback. 
> 
> MC is the only fandom I read and write about. I'm currently working on a major book project. I like parts of it so much that I'm eager to start uploading it, but I can't because the nature of the book requires it to be uploaded all at once, and I'm not done yet. I have a few chapters, which can somewhat stand alone from the rest of the book. I kind of refer to them as bonus chapters. This is one of them. And it's super long for one chapter, so I put title breaks in it. In my full book, it will go in as one chapter. Here, I think I'll upload the pieces as multiple chapters where the title breaks are. A little background info about about the characters and what brought them to this situation will be helpful to the reader. So--
> 
> Name of book- I don't want to reveal my book name yet. This is in fact Chapter 69 in my book.
> 
> Timeframe- May 1988, post rehab. They're sober.
> 
> Location- Vancouver for record production with a trip 3 hours south to Seattle.
> 
> Relationships- Tommy and Nikki have been an item since Dec. 87. Tommy made a move first. Nikki was resistant. Lots of ups and downs led them here, with a secretive relationship. While in Vancouver, Nikki is rooming in an apartment with Mick. Tommy is in an apartment with Vince. Vince is straight and engaged to Sharise. Mick is straight and dating Emi. Tommy is married to Heather (she does not know what he does with Nikki.). Nikki is not with anyone else. P.S.- Bob is their record producer
> 
> Nikki- loves his music, eager to work on the record, quick to anger, too serious at times, likes to be in control, lets Tommy see his vulnerable side, prefers sensual sex, doesn't usually express emotions well, can be surprisingly sweet and loving, stubborn
> 
> Tommy- loves both Nikki and his wife, hates unresolved issues, happy go lucky, often confused, spaz, prefers kinky wild sex, can be the voice of reason, always willing and ready for Nikki, forgiving
> 
> TommyxNikki- secretive, supportive, best friends, real, insulting, cynical, love
> 
> Background- there's a lot of background to these characters and the storyline in my books. Feel free to find them under Kajomon on Wattpad. There's also a storyline which led up to this trip in my unpublished 4th book. Without giving too much away. -- Nikki blew up on Tommy. Misdirected anger as usual. Roommate situations got switched up. This caused jealousy. Vince and Tommy took a day off and went to Seattle (Vince's idea, no romance, just friends). Nikki lost his shit over this. Confronted Tommy, crazy mad. Tommy settled him down. Nikki feels stupid. Wants to take Tommy back to his hometown himself as a way to make up for his bad behavior. Voila- bonus chapter that chronicles their trip.
> 
> Thanks for giving me a chance. This will all make a little more sense when it comes together in my completed book. Please leave feedback. Can be helpful. Some parts or wording are subject to change before the book is uploaded when completed.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a damn, long week. Let's just get ourselves out of here.

I OWE YOU

After work, the band and Bob went out for dinner. They were all happy with their first demo, and stoked to continue on. They did some planning and talked shop about their next steps. All the while, neither Tommy nor Nikki could wait to find a way to be alone with each other. Nikki wants to plan their weekend getaway. 

After dinner, Vince suggests a strip club visit as usual. They all agree, and Tommy whispers to Nikki that they should cut out early. They do just that, and go back to Nikki’s apartment to make their plans, but not before a quickie. After stepping into the apartment, Nikki took Tommy by the back of his pants and his scruff and ushered him into his bedroom, shoving him up against the bare wall, and forcing Tommy’s pants down, then pulling his own down, and taking Tommy from behind with the savagery of an animal in heat, while also stroking Tommy’s shaft.

“God, I love when you’re like this,” Tommy pants out. “I’ve been missing you all week. Fuck me. Oh god, yes!”

“I owe you, baby. And I fucking miss you too,” Nikki says, breathing sloppily into Tommy’s ear.

Nikki brings Tommy to an orgasm in less than 10 minutes, and then lets himself go. He pulls himself out of Tommy, and just rests his sweaty head on Tommy’s shoulder, wrapping an arm, loosely around his waist. Tommy turns himself around to face Nikki, taking his jaw in his hands to kiss him deeply, then pulling away, still breathless, to plant a simple kiss on Nikki’s forehead, wrapping his arms around him.

“Don’t you ever fucking tell me again that I can’t touch you,” Tommy says, still coming down.

“I was angry. You know I don’t mean it,” Nikki says, speaking into Tommy’s shoulder.

“Those words are anathema to me. Fucking poison, straight to the heart.”

“To me too. I don’t know why I let myself say things like that,” Nikki says, stepping away finally to wipe down and find his pants.

“You can say and do a lot of shit to me, but going forward, try to lay off that one. It’s my one request, love,” Tommy says, still holding up the wall with his back, smiling.

“Come on. Get dressed. Let’s go out to the couch. Mick tends to come home earlier from strip club ventures than Vince does,” Nikki says, tossing the wipes to Tommy.

An hour later, Mick comes home, and Tommy and Nikki have made their plans for Saturday and Sunday.

“Hey! How was the rest of the selection tonight, Mick,” Nikki asks.

“Eh, your usual array of bimbos and desperate single moms. I prefer to give the moms my money. They need it.”

“How can you tell the difference?” Tommy asks.

“They level of sag in the tits,” Mick jests.

“Fuck, that’s no way to tell. I’ve been with some hot moms with some damn perky tits,” Tommy boasts.

“Well, that’s the way I see it, and I just like to think that I’m doing some of those young ladies a favor. And so, if they don’t have kids to feed, then they can use the money to fix their tits.”

“You’re a real humanitarian, aren’t you?” Nikki smirks.

“Just doing my part,” Mick smiles. “What are you assholes doing this weekend?” 

“We’re going to my hometown,” Nikki says, grinning.

“Seattle? Weren’t you just there yesterday, Tommy?”

“Yeah. I liked it, and there’s more to see. And I’ll get the guided tour this time,” Tommy responds.

“Just behave. It’s never good when the 2 dumbest shits to walk this earth decide to tackle a city together. How are you getting down there?”

“Rental car,” Tommy says.

“How? Nikki’s license is revoked and you’re not old enough.”

“I sure am. I’m 25 now. Exciting! I’m a car rental virgin! I’m going to get the sexiest, sickest beast out there to fucking break in,” Tommy exclaims.

“If it’s that sexy, just don’t stick your dick in the gas tank to fuck it,” Mick warns. “Seen it done before, by the way.”

“Some of the motherfuckers that you’ve palled around with in the past are way more fucked than any of us,” Nikki affirms.

“Says the guy who was about ready to lick up his piss from a germ-infested pool deck,” Mick sneers.

“Well, I didn’t. And Ozzy didn’t die from it.”

“He’s one of the most fucked up individuals I know, and it’s probably brain damage from slurping on your dirty juice,” Mick asserts.

“He was fucked before that. That’s why he did it. But, my whole point is that you’ve hung out with some fucked up people, and probably done all kinds of shit yourself when you were our age. You’re probably the gas tank fucker, yourself. How’d the car run after that? The motor probably purred from the fuel injection,” Nikki snickers.

“Or it choked,” Tommy adds, laughing.

“You’ll never know, will you? You would have liked me back then,” Mick reminisces.

“Yeah, cuz you’re nothing but a lame-ass now,” Tommy says.

“I like it that way. You’ll understand someday.”

“Yeah, when we’re 50 like you,” Tommy adds in.

“Fuck off bozo.”

“Hey Mick, can I use your AARP card for a discount?” Tommy continues with the ribbing.

“I can get you a 50% off deal right now by ripping off your left arm and then shoving it up Nikki ass.”

“Hey, leave me out of this. I didn’t say anything,” Nikki says, furrowing his brow.

“You’re guilty by association, and I’m being nice by leaving his right arm intact so he can still jerk off.”

“A true pal,” Tommy says. “Hey, I’m going to pack a few things and go to bed early so we can get on the road.

“Me too, I guess,” Nikki sighs.

“If I don’t see you, be careful out there, and don’t get caught with your dick in the tank,” Mick warns.

“Thanks for the advice, Mick. Goodnight,” Nikki says, backing up towards his bedroom, smiling while eyeballing Tommy as he leaves.

Tommy returns the smile, shutting the front door behind him.


	2. Boyfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the subtleties that win Nikki over.

BOYFRIEND

Saturday morning at the rental lot. Nikki is off to the side bullshitting with an employee who recognized them, while Tommy is selecting a rental, and putting his virgin car rental signature on paper. Transaction complete, Tommy fetches Nikki.

“There she is, love. My first,” Tommy says, gesturing his hands like a game show model.

“What happened to getting a sick, sexy beast?”

“Oh but she is. T-tops, sleek lines, and I figured that a back seat could come in handy,” Tommy gloats, presenting the 1987 Chevy Monte Carlo SS. 

(Psst [fun fact]...one of my ex-boyfriends had this car while we were dating. It was a beautiful fucking car.)

“Backseat? You got ideas, T?”

“Just preparing for all possibilities.”

“What are we, 16 year olds who need to fuck in cars?”

“We could pretend? Ready to explore? Fuck, let’s just go.

\-------------------------------------

They arrive in Seattle around noon.~

“Where do you want to go first, love? I’m hungry.”

“Then find somewhere to eat.” Nikki replies, shrugging.

“You don’t have a favorite spot?”

“Nope. I can’t remember eating at restaurants here. Maybe once or twice. I was usually scratching for food at home, or stealing shit from the stores. Maybe fast food at best.”

“Oh. I guess that sounds like you,” Tommy sighs.

“Look, babe. We don’t need to re-create my teenage years while here. Frankly, they sucked. I don’t have a lot of concrete memories, and the ones I have are bad or nothing special. I’ll show you a few things, but other than that, we can just fucking do whatever. It’s supposed to rain today, by the way.”

“Here? That’s shocking,” Tommy smiles, putting his hand on Nikki's thigh, as he drives around looking for a place to eat.

He soon finds a corner tavern. They go in disguised, take a seat, and order.

“Nikki, would you consider visiting your mom while we’re here?” Tommy asks, cautiously.

“Hell no. I want to have a good day.”

“I was just thinking. I really would like to meet your mom someday.”

“No you wouldn’t.”

“And I say I would. I want to meet the woman who gave birth to my boyfriend.”

“Your boyfriend? You don’t often refer to me as such,” Nikki muses, tapping his finger on the table and chewing on his bottom lip, amused that Tommy said that.

“Well, it’s because I want to meet your mom. That’s what people in relationships do, dummy.”

“You want me to introduce you as my boyfriend? It would make her hate me more,” Nikki says, with a wide grin, removing his sunglasses.

“She doesn’t hate you. And no, no introduction like that. But you can think it, while you introduce me.”

“Maybe she doesn’t hate me, but she certainly doesn’t love me,” Nikki says, now pursing his lips.

“Look, I know it’s a touchy situation. I just think, why not. We’re here. And you’ll have me. But honestly, if it’s going to depress you for the rest of the day, maybe some other time. It was just an idea.”

“Let me think about it. I’m not going to curl up in a ball over it. I know what to expect, so I have nothing to feel disappointed about when she spits her usual venom. I’m slightly intrigued by the fact that you want to meet your boyfriend’s family,” Nikki says, back to smirking, chin propped up on his hand, as he stares intently at Tommy.

“What?" Tommy says, raising his eyebrows. "Did I forget to trim my nose hair today or maybe a big zit on my face that you want to pop?” Tommy says, noticing Nikki’s intent gaze.

Nikki shakes his head, as he comes out of gaze. He’s just feeling smitten over Tommy using the term boyfriend. It sounds juvenile, but Nikki is tickled by it for some reason. Maybe because it makes their forbidden relationship sound more legitimate, rather than just a disposable thing. He sees the waitress coming with their food, and puts his sunglasses back on.

\-------------------------

As they square up the bill, Nikki says, “Let’s go see my mom. Maybe she’ll like the surprise.”

“Really, love? Are you sure? Does she even know that we’re up in Vancouver?”

“I’ll be OK. Let’s go. And no, I haven’t talked to her since I was in rehab. She doesn’t know we’re up here. The hardest thing is remembering how to get there. I was only at her current place once, but since it was in my old neighborhood, I remember some of the landmarks it was near.”

“I’ll have your back, Nik,” Tommy says, squeezing Nikki’s arm as they leave.


	3. Nikki Goes Old School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A typical high school student?

NIKKI GOES OLD SCHOOL

In about 20 minutes, they’re in Nikki’s old neighborhood.

“Vince and I weren’t even in this area,” Tommy remarks.

“It’s a pretty big city with lots of different neighborhoods. It wasn’t a bad area, just bad memories. My high school was just up that road.”

“Really? I want to see it.”

“Why? I was barely there.” Nikki smirks.

“I don’t know. It just puts a visual in my head.” Tommy says, swinging the car around to go towards the school.

Tommy pulls up towards it.

“So, is it everything you dreamed it would be?” Nikki says, sarcastically.

“Shut up, Nik. It’s not the building. It’s just weird to me, knowing you walked around here as a kid. It was part of your world that came before me. Do you have any specific memories from here?”

“Not too many. Smoking weed or ingesting peyote underneath the bleachers. Flying down those front steps to get the hell off campus. Fucking someone in a mainenance closet. You know, typical high school shit.”

“Yeah, for Motley Crue. Probably not for the typical high schooler.”

Nikki shrugs, “I didn’t know any different. I used to wait for the bus to pick me up, right there,” Nikki says, pointing to a spot in front of the school. “Sometimes I’d leave with one of my friends to make music instead, and would have to walk or hitchhike home.”

“Some things were similar for me, at least my last year in high school. Otherwise, maybe I was a bit more of a typical high schooler. You know, marching band and all.”

“Come on, Drum Major. Mom is about 5 minutes from here. Go left at the next intersection.”


	4. Looks That Kill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's mother superior.

LOOKS THAT KILL

Tommy pulls up to the house that Nikki seems to remember being his mom’s house. He squints out the window, recognizing an oddly placed flower box that caught his eye last time. 

“This is it….. Don’t park in the driveway. Go up the road a bit, near that brush up there,” Nikki says, grabbing Tommy’s smokes from the cup holder, pulling a cigarette out, and placing it between his lips.

Tommy parks, just up a little bit, as Nikki instructed, then fishes his lighter out from his pocket. “Light?” Tommy asks, holding the flame out towards Nikki.

He leans in towards it, a moment later letting a plume of smoke fill the cabin briefly, as he exhales, before it sails upward out the open roof.

“Tom, put the glass on. It’s gonna rain.”

“Ok,” Tommy says, reaching for Nikki’s cigarette to take a drag before getting out to snap the T-tops back on.

Nikki finishes his smoke around the same time Tommy is finishing up tightening tthe glass tops.

“You good?” Tommy asks, as Nikki flicks the butt onto the road.

Nikki inhales deeply, “Yep. I’m keeping my expectations low, so there’s no let down.”

“Hey Nikki,” Tommy says, pulling him back by the wrist. “Thanks. I know you’re doing for me. And I know that this is not easy for you. It means a lot. And we can still jet right now if you want to. Coming this far….. Well, it speaks volumes to me. But honestly, I want you to be OK. I mean that. I want to meet your mom, but you and your well-being are more important to me,” Tommy says, with a serious look upon his face.

Nikki smiles, “I’m good Tom. I got you with me. I gotta do these periodic visits. Now’s as good a time as any, I guess.”

“Code word if you need to escape?” Tommy suggests.

“Doesn’t need to be covert. You’ll know. C’mon.”

They get to the doorstep and Nikki rings the doorbell, breathing deeply and shuffling his feet around while he waits. Nikki hears footsteps and fiddling with the doorknob, his heart suddenly pounding in his throat.

The door opens slowly. “Nikki?” Deanna beams, opening the door wider.

“Hi mom. I’m in the area. I hope you don’t mind a surprise visit,” Nikki says, trying to muster a smile.

“Well, you certainly caught me off guard. Come in,” Deanna says, eyeballing Tommy.

“Oh, you might recognize my bandmate, Tommy. He’s our drummer. Tom, this is my mom, Deanna.”

“It’s nice to meet you. Um, is Deanna OK? Or uh, Mrs.--”

“Deanna is fine. Thank you for asking. Here, come in. Don’t mind the laundry basket. I just came from the laundromat. My washing machine isn’t working. My back has been sore, so I didn’t bring it upstairs yet.”

“Mom, it’s OK. We’re not here to inspect. Just a short visit,” Nikki says, as he follows his mom up the stairs to the living room. Tommy grabs the laundry basket.

Nikki’s mom is patting her hair, checking for fly-aways, and then dusting her shirt off, as she turns around finally to face her son again, extending her arms with a smile. Nikki takes a step towards her to accept the embrace. It feels awkwards for him; not warm, just cordial. Tommy, so far, is impressed, not sensing any negative vibes.

“Excuse me for just a minute. I just need to change into something more appropriate,” Deanna remarks.

“Mom, who cares. I think you look beautiful.”

“We see beauty differently, I suppose. Be back in a minute, darling,” she says, with a forced smile.

Tommy looks at Nikki and shrugs. 

“Tom, I’m going to the bathroom. I’ll be right back,” Nikki says.

Tommy takes his solitude as a chance to look around the house. He sees a few pictures of Nikki and his sister when they were little kids. Nothing recent. He stands in front of an old bureau and pulls open a choppy drawer. He doesn’t mean to be nosy. Sometimes his hyperactivity causes him to rifle and open and close things. Tommy spots a pile of old photos crammed towards the back. He shuffles through them quickly, coming across one of Nikki in his teen years. His heart leaps, and can’t stop staring at it; marveling at how much he’s changed, yet how he can still see all of his handsome features. He hears the toilet flush, and shoves the pictures back in the drawer, pocketing Nikki’s picture; closing the fussy, sticky drawer, just in time to see Nikki come back down the hallway. Nikki arches his eyebrow towards Tommy, as a silent gesture to let him know that he knows he’s snooping. His mother comes out from her bedroom just a few seconds later.

“What brings you here?” Deanna asks, sporting a pencil skirt with nylons and a fancy blouse, still patting her hair, as she re-enters the living room.

“We’re starting work on our next record with a studio that’s located in Vancouver. Tommy and I decided to come down here for a day trip,” Nikki says. “You look nice, mom.”

“Well, it’s thoughtful that you came to see your mother. It’s been quite a long time hasn’t it?” she says, with a slight patronizing tone. “I wasn’t expecting anyone today.”

“Yeah. I’ve had a lot of stuff to tend to. Not leaving myself much personal time. How are you doing?”

“Please take a seat. Can I get you something to drink?” she asks, putting a Virginia Slim to her lips.

“No, thanks,” Tommy says, as he finds a seat, then offers her a light.

“What a nice boy,” she says, smiling, sitting down, then patting him on the thigh. Then she sighs deeply, “I’ve been hanging on. I don’t have a lot of visitors here. I try to keep my house nice, so when someone actually does show up, they don’t see dust. Other than that, I’m working as a secretary and a personal assistant for my boss. It’s enough to eat and live in this house, but not to afford the things that would make life more comfortable. Sometimes my boss will give me bonuses for a job well done.”

Nikki suspects that she’s banging him for tips and bonuses. “Is there something you need, mom?”

“Oh no, Nikki. I’m fine here. You shouldn’t be concerned with my struggles. I’ve learned to do without.”

“Mom, tell me what you need. I don’t want you living without anything you need.”

“Well, that display of generosity would have come in handy 2 months ago when I needed a new tire on my car. I was stuck on the side of the road for an hour, in the rain, when it blew out on me. I nearly lost control of the car, and could have been seriously injured. Then I would have really been in trouble. But, I remembered that you were in rehab and unavailable, so I just had to go with less groceries that month, and put a little overtime in at the office.”

“I’m sorry. I had to go in and get my addictions under control. They were going to kill me.”

“It seems that we both had near death experiences recently.”

Nikki starts rubbing his hand through his hair, starting to bristle at his mom’s increasingly passive-aggressive behavior. 

“Mom, how about this? Why don’t I set up a transfer account for you. Money will go in every month, or even every week if you need. And you can access it anytime you want. I want to make sure you have whatever you need. I’m just not always available and able to be reached because of my work,” Nikki suggests.

“Oh my, I’m sure the rehab staff taught you how to self care, and they must have also taught you how to finally care for others.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Nikki asks.

“Well, it’s just nice to see that you’re taking time to think about others for once. Nothing meant by it. Just an observation. Right, Tommy? Don’t you make sure that your parents are taken care of, and have their needs met?”

“Uh, well my parents are pretty self-sufficient. But if they ask for something, sure.”

“Oh, a well-to-do family. And you still ended up in a band with my son. Interesting.”

Tommy changes the subject, sensing that Nikki is getting irritated, as he watches him clench and unclench his fist, hanging down by his side. “Deanna, I see a few pictures of little Nikki around here. What was his favorite dinner that you made? My mom made a killer roasted chicken with lemon.” Tommy thinks that was a really dumb question to ask, but he couldn’t think of anything else. His mind is always on food.

“Oh, wasn’t little Frankie a living doll? She sighs, staring at his pictures. “He didn’t like anything I made. He seemed unappreciative to my efforts.”

“Mom, you rarely cooked. Nona did. I liked her eggplant parm. And it’s Nikki, please.”

“Well, she only mastered that recipe at my request. It was my favorite growing up, and it took her time to get it right, Nikki, darling.”

Nikki rolls his eyes. “How’s Ceci?” he says, changing the subject once again.

“Well, she’s so busy with her boys that she barely comes to see me anymore. My kids are content to just let their mother live a lonely life,” Deanna sighs. “But that’s a sacrifice every mother is willing to endure for the sake of her children. As long as they’re happy. Right, Nikki? I know you don’t have much time for me. Why you’re so busy with your music, and your friends. Did you know that I spent Christmas Eve alone? Tom was with you. Ceci with the boys’ father.”

“I was in the hospital on the morning of Christmas Eve,” Nikki says, sounding irritated.

“Well, you never called me. At least we could have talked. Especially since Tom was with you. I must have crossed your mind with him being there.” Deanna says, with a fake smile.

“Mom, I wouldn’t have been able to talk. I had a respirator down my throat the day before.”

“Well, what’s that have to do with Christmas Eve? You were home by then. Tom told me so.”

“I was sleeping, exhausted, and in pain.”

“Oh right. That was pre-rehab, before someone taught you about caring for people other than yourself. I’m sorry, darling. I hope that you’re well rested now. You must be feeling better by now. Aren’t you?”

“Mom, stop.”

“Stop what? I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with questioning why you didn’t call me for Christmas. I’m your mother. Didn’t you call your mother on Christmas, Tommy?”

“Leave him out of this,” Nikki demands, starting to show anger in his voice.

“I’m just trying to understand. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I just expect too much from my kids.”

“You know, Tommy and I have some things we need to get done today. I’ll be in touch with you about setting up that account. I hope it will help with your needs,” Nikki says, standing up. “Nice to see you, mom. I’ll come again before we’re done in Vancouver, OK? Thanks for having us. Nikki bends down to hug his mom with one arm, “Love you,” he says, kissing her on the forehead.

“Wish you showed it more often. But, you’re welcome to come by any time. I’d like to see you more. I know you’re busy,” Deanna says, standing up.

Nikki nods, “Come on, Tommy.”

“Can I just use the bathroom, please. I’ll be right out, Nik.”

“Bye mom,” Nikki turns to go down the stairs and out the door.

“Good bye, darling,” she says, stubbing her cigarette out. “Bathroom is the first door on the right, Tommy,” Deanna says, in a not so pleasant tone, as she exhales the last bit of her smoke.

Nikki goes outside and sits on the cement partition along the walkway. It’s raining. He’s content to just sit there and get rained on to decompress.

Tommy comes out of the bathroom, and stops to say goodbye to Nikki’s mom.

“Thank you for visiting Tommy. It’s like pulling hen’s teeth to get Nikki to pay attention. You must be a good son to your mother, aren’t you?”

“I am, and Nikki is a good son too.”

“I think he just has a lot to learn in life,” Deanna shrugs.

“Nikki has a really big heart. It’s easy to see when you actually take time to peel back the layers. When you love somebody, you take that time. He’s just looking for love, and has a lot of it to offer, if you want it.”

“Of course, everyone wants to be loved. He should know how much I crave it from him and Ceci. I’ve had a tough life; longsuffering. I thought that perhaps I could finally sit back and enjoy it, at this age, with my children around me. Maybe soon. It’s good that Nikki seems to be more responsive to other’s needs.”

“Nice meeting you, Deanna,” Tommy says, clearly understanding Nikki’s frustration about his mother.

“Come visit. Anytime,” She says, as he pulls the door open.


	5. Here Comes The Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rain isn't always a downer.

HERE COMES THE RAIN

Tommy comes out and sees Nikki sitting in the steady rain, with his elbows resting on his thighs, propping his head up. “Hey, the car door was unlocked. Come on!”

Nikki looks up, his green eyes peering out from underneath is black hair that is now plastered against his forehead, “I’m good. Just thinking.”

Tommy pauses, admiring Nikki’s striking appearance. Almost like the rain washing away his facade, revealing a raw, vulnerable figure. He’s stunning.

“Finish up your thinking in the car, OK?” Tommy says, holding his hand out for Nikki to grab onto, to pull him up.

They both make a dash for the car, getting in, slamming the doors. Nikki shakes himself for just a moment, as if he got a chill, and pulls his legs up to his chest for warmth.

“Let me put the heat on. You’re pretty soaked through.”

Nikki just nods his head. Tommy tilts the steering upward, so that he can turn on his side to face Nikki. He reaches his arm out, and places it on Nikki’s shoulder. “Are you OK, love?”

“I’m fine, Tommy. I told you that I wouldn’t let this get me down. I’m OK, really. I’ve come to accept that she’ll never tell me that she loves me, but it just boggles my mind why she can’t tell me that she’s proud of me for getting off drugs, or ask me about our music and new album. She never even asked me how I am, or said anything about being thankful that I’m still alive. It’s just always about her. On that note, welcome to the family,” Nikki says, turning to look at Tommy, sporting a subtle grin on his face.

That last comment, touched Tommy, feeling like it deepens their relationship. “I get it now, Nik. It all makes more sense. Thanks for doing this for me. And you know, I think she loves you. She’s just sick, like a disease. There’s something not right with her; like she can’t help being that way. I know she wants you there, but she’ll never let you know that.”

“I don’t know, T. I’ve been far from the perfect son, but I’m willing to apologize and get better for the sake of having my mom in my life. I try to tell her in so many ways, this is what I want, but she never puts forth any effort from her end. I need to hear words like sorry, love, and proud come out of her mouth, or I’ll never be able to be all in. It’s too painful. The best I can do is take care of her needs, and check in every now and then. And to be honest, even if I was perfectly fine at Christmas time, I wouldn’t have called her. It wouldn’t have mattered. If she wasn’t upset about Christmas, it would have been something else. There’s always something for her to try to disgrace me with. Christmas and rehab this time around.” Nikki shrugs, and sniffles his nose, which is now running, from sitting out in the rain.

Tommy sits and stares at Nikki.

“What?” Nikki asks, feeling uncomfortable with Tommy’s stare.

Tommy brushes Nikki wet hair away from his eyes, then says softly, “Nikki…. I think that I love you right now more than I ever have. You captivate me like no one else. I just get to see more and more sides of you, every day. A beautiful composite of warm traits and captivating pieces that form a perfectly built you.”

“Tommy don’t. I’m far from per--” Nikki starts to say, before being interrupted.

Tommy raises his finger to Nikki’s lips, then leans over to kiss him softly. He moves all the way over to sit on top of Nikki, “God, you’re beautiful, love,” Tommy says, deepening the kisses. “I need you right now. Please let me.”

“Tom, turn the car off and lock the doors. I don’t want attention coming our way,” Nikki says, noticing that they’re warm breath has already completely fogged up the windows, which is a good thing.

Tommy leans over to do those things, clicking the battery back on to play the radio on low, then back to unbuckling Nikki’s belt, while Nikki unfastens Tommy’s. He feels his arms in the way of Tommy’s feverish progress, so he just tilts the passenger seat all the way back and waits for Tommy to finish, although he attempts to kick his boots off onto the floor, only able to get one completely off. While Nikki is leaning back, waiting, he sees his knapsack on the backseat floor, and attempts to find the lube he always keeps in there, from an awkward slightly twisted position Tommy, finally getting Nikki’s pants and boots off, reaches over to the knapsack, and finds it himself, then finishes removing his own jeans and boots. Tommy almost wore his Converse sneakers today, but went with the boots, to be more easily prepared for spontaneous sex, as they’re much easier to kick off. He opens the lube and rubs it on himself.

“Slide down a little, love. Maybe put your feet on the dash,” Tommy says trying to position himself for sex. The seat is a little low. “Nik, pull your legs back for me, so I can get in, then you can put them back on the dashboard or around me.

Nikki just does as he’s told, and soon he’s at the right angle for Tommy to push in, causing both of them to moan. “Oh god, baby, you feel so good. I’ve missed you so much,” Nikki says, putting his hands on Tommy’s ass to push him in further.

“Same. I’m so turned on right now,” Tommy says, going in for the kill on Nikki’s neck, causing Nikki to yelp a little, then pant in delight, as Tommy sucks on his neck and thrusts himself in and out.

“I want to rip into you, baby. Please,” Nikki pleads.

“Go for it, love. I’ll have a least a week or more to heal,” Tommy groans, making reference to the next time that he might see his wife.

With that, Nikki digs his fingernails into Tommy’s back side. Then tries to get his own mouth on Tommy’s neck. “Come on, T. Let me have it. I never get to do this to you,” Nikki pants.

Tommy pulls his own mouth off of Nikki, and offers his neck to Nikki, who takes one of his hands to hold on to the back of Tommy’s neck while he licks and sucks on his friend’s forbidden neck. Tommy just continues his thrust, while burying his face in Nikki’s wet hair, smelling strongly of hair products.

After about 5 minutes, Nikki pulls away from Tommy, and throws his head back on the seat, eyes closed, mouth open to pant. “You almost there, love?” Tommy whispers. Nikki simply nods. Tommy takes hold of a chunk of Nikki’s hair behind his ear, “Nikki, look at me. I want to see your eyes.”

Nikki opens his eyes. They have a look of passionate desperation and his bottom lip starts to quiver, as he stares into Tommy’s loving eyes. 

“I’m going to cum. You turn me on so much,” Tommy groans.

Nikki pushes his head back again, rolling his eyes back, and closing them again as he comes to his climax, his whole body shuddering and arching his back. Tommy lets himself go with a growl, digging his nails on one hand into Nikki, the other still gripping is hair. Tommy exhales, and collapses on Nikki; the feeling of full body contact causing Nikki to spill out too, between their bodies.

Nikki lets his body melt into the seat, pulling his feet off of the dashboard, and back down to the floor, near Tommy’s. “You can lay like this forever on me,” Nikki says, speaking into Tommy’s partially wet hair, winding his fingers around it.

Tommy adjusts himself a little so that he can pull out, and repositions himself back on his lover’s warm body, slightly on his side, an arm wrapped around Nikki, and his face buried in the crook of Nikki’s neck. “I love you, Nikki. I can stay here forever too.”

They sit in silence for a few minutes, nestling their naked bodies into one another. The radio, turned low, plays Def Leppard’s Hysteria. “I’ve always liked the rain. I miss it sometimes. I remember lying in bed at night as a kid, just listening to rain hitting the roof. It mesmerized me, feeling safe in bed; eventually the rhythmic sound lulling me to sleep. Just like it is now. I see those drops hitting the glass roof of this car, while you and I are safe in here, together,” Nikki muses, while stroking Tommy’s hair. 

Tommy lifts his head to kiss Nikki’s lips. “Hey, I want to show you something,” Tommy says, pulling himself off of Nikki. “I think maybe we should get dressed first. Just in case someone comes by.”

“You’re probably right, damn.”

“It’s after 3. So we can check in to the hotel now. Shower, get warm. Maybe a little late afternoon nap?”

“Sound good to me,” Nikki replies.

They take a few minutes to get redressed. It never feels good to put wet clothes back on. Tommy swipes his hand across the fogged window to catch a glimpse of the outside world, that all but disappeared from his mind for the past 25 minutes. He’s startled when Nikki taps his shoulder, “What did you want to show me?”

“Oh shit. I almost forgot.” Tommy checks his coat pockets for the photo that he pinched from Deanna’s house. He finds it, and pulls it out to hand to Nikki, “Look what I found.”

“Oh my god. Where the fuck did you get this?”

“Found it in a drawer inside your mom's house.”

“You little sneak. And stealing from my mom?”

“It was shoved in the back of a crusty drawer with other old pictures; obviously not looked at in years. I want to look at it.”

“So now the secret is out about my natural hair color,” Nikki snickers.

“I know the black shit is dye. I just didn’t know it was that light. Kind of like mine. Maybe even lighter,” Tommy says, inspecting a lock of his own hair. “How old were you here? 15, 16, 17?

“Yeah, something like that.”

“More handsome than I was at that age,” Tommy purses his lips.

“And that surprises you?”

“Was that dig? I think it was a dig, motherfucker.”

“And what if it was?” Nikki grins.

“For all the insecurities you have, you’ve always been smug about your appearance,” Tommy reports.

Nikki shrugs.”‘Out of your league, baby,” he giggles.

“Not really. I’ve always thought I just kept my expectations low,” Tommy shoots back, punching Nikki’s shoulder. “You got your eyes from your mom, by the way.”

“Is that dig?” Nikki smirks.

“Not meant to be dipshit. A compliment. I’m sure your mom was pretty in her youth.”

“So she says,” Nikki says, raising his eyebrows.

“I see you get the humbleness about your looks from her,” Tommy says.

“I guess I do,” Nikki smirks. Come on, clean this shit off the windows. Let’s get out of here,” Nikki says, putting the front vent on to clear the windshield. “I got one more place in this neighborhood I want to show you.”


	6. Amends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When I reread, I found this section to be a little, well not so exciting. I considered scrapping it, but I decided to leave it in because a few of the comments and actions here are referred to in upcoming sections.

AMENDS

“Go down this road, and park in one of these spots along here,” Nikki says, directing Tommy where to go. “Right there is where I had a bus exchange. I get off one and climb on another to get to school. But, I had a wait between buses, so I’d often stroll around in this music shop,” Nikki says, pointing ahead.

“Holy shit, Nik. Is this the shop you stole your first bass from? You told me that story.” Tommy asks?  
“Yes, except it was a guitar. Stole the wrong fucking thing. I sold it though, to get a bass. I think I’m ready to come clean,” Nikki smirks.

“What if they arrest you?” Tommy says, concerned.

“They’re not going to fucking arrest me. Let’s go,” Nikki says, putting sunglasses on. Figuring that his wet hair is enough detraction to forego the hat. The rain slowed to a light drizzle by this point, although their clothes are still damp.

They push the store’s door open, jingling the bell to alert staff that customers are entering. Nikki looks arounds, seeing that the store set-up is relatively unchanged. “I used to look at all of these instruments and music books, dreaming big,” Nikki says to Tommy.

“No drums here I guess. Store’s too small.”

“They had a few snares hanging on the wall back then, but no drum kit set-up. I’m guessing maybe they could have ordered one,” Nikki says, looking around at the different guitars, trying to find one similar to the one he stole about 14 years ago. “This one,” he says, pointing at it. “Not exact, but close. Can you see the price tag, Tom?”

“$900,” Tommy says, turning around.

“Oh shit. I did a fucking shitty thing back then,” Nikki laments.

“Yeah, but it’s part of your story now,” Tommy smirks.

“Shitty start though. Well, here goes nothing,” Niki says walking up to the counter.

“Can I help you, sir,” the clerk says.

“Yeah, could I have a job application?”

The clerks looks Nikki up and down, finding his sunglasses on, during a rainy day to be irritating, “We’re not hiring right now?”

“It’s OK. I’m actually not here for a job. I think I owe the owner here some money.”

“Uh, well he’s not here right now. He’s in tomorrow.”

“Let me ask you this. Is it the same owner from say the mid-70s?”

“Yeah. The old timer is still running this shop.”

“OK. Here, charge my credit card $2000. I stole something from here when I was a kid, and I want to pay it back with interest.”

“Wait, you’re not Nikki Sixx are you? We all know that story. Kind of brings people in, you know,” the clerk smiles nervously.

“Look at my card, kid,” Nikki says, pulling his sunglasses off.

“Holy shit. Wait a minute. This isn’t for real. There a hidden camera or something?”

“Nope, just me, and Tommy is over there. I’m in the area, and I want to make it right.” Tommy throws his hand up as an acknowledgement.

“I didn’t know. Uh, your hair is different.”

“Because it doesn’t fucking stop raining here,” Nikki laughs.

“OK. OK. Uh, let me charge your card. You said $2000? I don’t think it nearly cost that much. And certainly not back then.”

“I know, I said with interest.”

“Um, OK. Here, sign this. Uh, thanks I guess. I’ll tell the owner. Holy shit. Uh, hey maybe you can sign one or 2 of our basses here. Would you do that?”

“Sure. They’ll be worth more money with my signature. Why? I don’t know,” Nikki smirks.

“Um, Tommy. Or um Mr. Tommy, uh maybe you can sign something too?” the clerk, cringes at his stammering.

“There’s no fucking drums in here,” Tommy snaps jokingly.

“Heh, heh. Just kind of small, you know. Maybe a bass with Nikki? Or can you sign a package of sticks…. for me? I’ll buy them. And we got a camera in the back. Can I? Nobody is going to believe me.”

“I guess it would be OK, despite what the rain did to my hair.”

Nikki and Tommy take about 5 more minutes in the store, and then leave and get back to the car.

“That was a weight off my shoulders, I guess. I’m glad there weren’t more customers there. We haven’t done any press events in a long time, but today, with the rain and my raggy hair, it wouldn’t have been good.

“There goes you with your looks again. Nikki, I love your hair, any way that you do it. But, you’re particularly handsome when it’s down, like now. In other words, you still look good, my love. So you and your fucking image are still flying high. Whereas I look like a cat’s hairball right now.”

“Lay off, Tom. I know I can pull off a look with my hair down. It’s just not the way people usually see me. And you don’t look like a cat’s hairball. Maybe a haystack,” Nikki laughs.

“Fuck you,” Tommy says, shoving Nikki towards the window.

“Joking with you, T. You got the nicest hair of the 4 of us, and you always look good to me. Ok?”

“Thanks for that. Let’s just get to the fucking hotel, and have some down time. We’ll go out again later.”


	7. Chapter What?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While I was writing this book, I got to this chapter number sequentially, and decided to leave it blank. This book allows some freedom in chapter placement. It would be used later. Once I decided to write this bonus chapter, I decided to go back to Chapter 69, planning to use that concept somewhere within their adventure. It's my first writing about this type of activity, nor have I seen much, if at all, in the stories I read from others. Not sure I did it justice. And yes, I break the 4th wall on occasion in this book.

CHAPTER WHAT?

“Come on. Get the fucking key in the door!” Nikki demands.

“I’m trying. Stop breathing down my neck, and give me some fucking room,” Tommy snaps back.

Finally the door opens. Tommy pushes the door, and goes to take a step in, “Hold on, motherfucker,” Nikki says, pulling him back by the collar, spinning him around, then looking both ways down the empty hallway.

“What the hell?” Tommy says, suddenly feeling himself being lifted up off the ground on Nikki’s shoulder. “What the hell, Nik??

Nikki carries him in, kicking the door shut, then runs towards the bed, crashing both of their bodies down on it.

“Fuck man, my head just missed the night stand by an inch, and your fucking shoulder just crushed my guts. What the fuck was that?” Tommy questions.

“Carrying you in over the fucking threshhold. And if you weren’t so fucking heavy, I wouldn’t have had to drop your ass so fast.”

“Heh, you’re so damn lame, Nikki. You’re supposed to carry me in bridal style, not like a linebacker.”

“Fuck bridal style. I’m not doing that gay shit. This is fuck-you style. Take it or leave it. It’s the best you’ll get from me.”

“OK, I’ll take it, I guess. Whatever the fuck that was suppose to represent. Is this like our fucking honeymoon?”

“A way to show my undying devotion to you, dipshit. We were apart for too fucking long,” Nikki says with a slight smirk, but trying to sound serious.

“OK, Sixx,” Tommy says, giggling as he rolls himself off the bed.

“You think it’s fucking funny or something?”

“Kind of. You’re being aggressive, cute, and stupid all at once, and I love you for it.”

“Go fuck yourself,” Nikki says, with a glare.

“Ut uh, not without you, love. And there’s other ways to express your undying devotion to me that don’t require injuries and near concussions.

“What makes you a fucking expert.”

“Maybe because I’ve been married twice. I might know a thing or 2 more than you.”

“Oh yeah, that first marriage was so mature. That was so romantic of you to offer your wife to give head to all of your friends in the hot tub. Are you going to try to pimp me out next?

“I was like fucking 20 years old, and we weren’t even married yet at the time of that party. And I can probably make a pretty decent buck pimping you out. Everyone wants to fuck Sixx, and you do give good head.”

“That’s the night I wrecked my fucking shoulder because I didn’t want your diseased girlfriend nobbing on my dick. I had to get the fuck out of there. And maybe that event should have been a tip-off not to marry her.”

“You want to blame your naked, drug-fueled high-speed wreck on me now?’

“Yup. How are you going to make things right?”

“I can start by kissing your shoulder, love.”

“It was this one,” Nikki says, pointing to sit, laying himself flat on the bed.

Tommy kneels on the bed to kiss Nikki’s shoulder. “Oh my god, Nik. Did you put deodorant on today?”

“I think my nerves had me sweat through it. Plus I got all wet. I thought you liked my natural scent.”

“I might have to rethink that. Oh my god. Fuck. Listen. I’ve got an idea, let’s shower off first.”

“I don’t like your ideas most of the time.”

“You’ll like this one. Promise.” Tommy says, with a wide grin.

“That fucking grin always spells trouble. Wipe it the fuck off.”

“No. Now come on, get up. We both need a damn shower. It will feel good. You probably won’t want to get too close to me either. I had onions on my burger for lunch, and it’s coming through my shirt.”

“Can’t you say anything else to kill this fucking mood. It’s close to 100% dead.”

“Sure can. I had bean dip too.”

Nikki just busts out laughing. “Ok, you got me. Let’s get in the fucking shower, asshole.”

\--------------------------------------

Both Tommy and Nikki are as fresh as daisies in the meadow. Tommy quelled all sexual behavior in the shower, so they can have fun out in the room.

He bounds out of the bathroom first, jumps on the bed, and lies spread out flat on it. “Nik, we haven’t fucked in a bed since the wee early hours of Monday morning. It’s Saturday. It’s too damn long.”

“Since when do you prefer a bed, you fucking circus clown.”

“Since we haven’t had one for almost 6 days. Feels like a giant marshmallow cloud, that’s about to get sticky semen glopped out all over it.”

“What the fuck kind of visual is that? That doesn’t arouse me.”

“Says the man, standing in front of me with a giant erection.”

“I was hard before you said that shit. You’re gonna make it drop. Tell me what the fuck we’re doing and leave the words marshmallow and glop out of it.”

“Come climb on top of me, lover,” Tommy says, patting his belly.

Nikki kneels on the king-sized bed and starts shuffling towards Tommy to mount him.

“Face away, love.”

Nikki changes positions to climb on top of Tommy, with his back turned toward him.

“My choice? Or are you going to tell me what to do?” Nikki asks.

“Bend over and suck it,” Tommy demands.

“All this build-up for a backwards facing blowjob? Could’ve just asked.”

“How limber are you, Nik. You’re going to have to back up.”

Nikki shifts his sitting position further up Tommy’s body so that he can bend over at the right angle.

“Tom, I’m pretty much going to have to sit on your face to get you in my mouth.”

“He’s catching on.”

“Huh?” Nikki says, confused.

“Hey ding dong, what fucking chapter is this in the book?”

“69, I think.”

“Do you think, or are you sure?”

”Heh, I get you now,” Nikki says looking over his shoulder with a grin.

“Come on, genius, give it to me.”

Nikki backs himself up; pretty much sitting on Tommy’s face, as he said he’d have to. And as he bends forward to take Tommy in his mouth, it allows Tommy access to take hold of Nikki’s cock, suspended right in front of his face. When Tommy takes it in his mouth, Nikki has to pause to soak in the moment of sudden warmth and pressure, with a loud grasp and exhale, sliding his bent legs, straddled over Tommy’s body, further outward, to lower himself closer to Tommy’s mouth. Nikki takes Tommy in again, doing the best he can from upside-down, propping himself up on his free elbow or hand, alternately, switching to adjust his height for comfort. 

Tommy disconnects for a moment, “Top for you, love. I know you’re more flexible than me. You can lay on my face any day.”

Nikki only replies with a hum, as he tries to take Tommy deep. He knows he’ll never master it, but he’s always intent on improving, using his tongue for added pressure and sensation. Tommy closes his eyes for a moment, tensing up with pleasure before taking Nikki back in his mouth. The downward dip of Nikki’s cock into Tommy’s mouth doesn’t allow as much freedom for Tommy to control the depth of which it goes. It’s kind of dependent on Nikki’s own bodily movement. But he doesn’t mind, he got the hang of deep-throating Nikki pretty quickly; of course Nikki doesn’t necessarily compare in length to Tommy, but he’s still a mouthful.

The bassist and drummer continued with their mutual acts of pleasuring each other for a few more minutes.

Nikki pulls his mouth off and buries his head in Tommy’s groin, reaching one arm forward to claw into Tommy’s thigh, as he finds himself nearing climax. “Tommy, I’m going to cum soon,” Nikki says, putting his mouth back on Tommy, breathing erratically, trying to hold back.

“Nikki, squeeze me hard, suck hard on my head. Touch my balls. Almost, love,” Tommy chokes out, after moving his mouth off of Nikki for a second to say so.

Nikki follows instruction, hoping to make the drummer spill, but he can’t hold himself back anymore. He grasps Tommy firmly, moaning as he releases himself into Tommy’s mouth, going back to give more with his mouth, as he tries to moan and pant for his own pleasure with Tommy deep in his mouth. Tommy’s mouth fills with Nikki’s cum. He attempts to pocket it on the side of his mouth, as he sucks harder to empty Nikki completely; all while trying to focus on his own climax, which is right there, and when he hears Nikki moaning with pleasure, he finally spills out. Nikki loses some of Tommy’s cum from his mouth, as he’s facing downward, and can’t control his vocalizing his satisfaction. He sees the sticky substance landed on Tommy’s patch. He props himself up on an elbow, and uses a finger on his other hand to sweep it up to put back into his mouth. It’s only been about 30 seconds since Nikki came in Tommy’s mouth, but he needs Nikki to turn around to come up for a kiss. He reaches up with both hands and squeezes Nikki’s ass, which startles him. Nikki swings his head around to look at Tommy, who’s now motioning to him with a come hither gesture. 

Nikki turns himself around, straddling Tommy face to face now, then bends over for a long-awaited kiss. He and Tommy lock lips, as Nikki stretches out his legs, along Tommy’s. They swap the contents of which each has been holding in their mouths. Nikki deepens the kiss, while Tommy is trying to not choke on the shared contents, attempting to lift his head up off the bed. But it’s not easy with Nikki bearing down on him. He pulls away to the side, and lifts his head just enough to swallow everything. Nikki grins, bringing Tommy’s mouth back towards his, to resume kissing, running his hands through Tommy’s still damp locks.

Nikki finally pulls back, staring down at Tommy, who’s been subject to Nikki’s dominion for the past several minutes. Nikki places a final kiss on Tommy’s forehead, and then rolls off of him onto the bed, lying on his back.

“Ha, how’d that double load go down, boy?”

“That wasn’t fair. I was choking,” Tommy says, nudging Nikki with force.

“Two ingredient recipe; sweet and salty, intermingled,” Nikki smirks.

“Oh, your taste is far from sweet, my love. More like heaven and hell.”

“Hella sexy. That’s what it was. Fuck,” Nikki says, staring up at the ceiling, smiling.

“Promised you that you’d like it. You should trust me more often,” Tommy says, turning on his side to face Nikki. 

Nikki just shrugs.

“It’s close to 5. How about we just lie here and do nothing for a few hours, then go out again?”

“Fine by me. You know you’re on my fucking side of the bed,” Nikki remarks.

“I didn’t know we had sides?”

“I like the outer side. Closest to the bathroom, and easy exit.”

“Planning on running out on me when I fall asleep?”

“No. Just saying why I like that side. Not saying it applies to now, but fucking switch with me.”

“I don’t want to, motherfucker,” Tommy says, turning the TV with the remote. “Besides, I might be the one having to run to the bathroom to vomit up our little love potion that I just ingested.”

“You’ve never vomited from my cum, so if you do, it’s because of yours. Now fucking move,” Nikki demands.

“Fucking make me,” Tommy challenges.

“I’m going to pick you up and toss you, making sure that I clip your head on the fucking nightstand this time,” Nikki says, sitting up, flexing his biceps.

“Jeez. It’s not that big a deal, brat,” Tommy says, sliding to the other side, while Nikki crawls over him to his favored side.

“Thank you, babe,” Nikki says, back to grinning, leaning back over to land a peck on Tommy’s lips.

Tommy swats him off, “What other kinds of trivial shit do I have to be prepared to give in to so that King Shithead stays content?”

“Aw, did I hurt your feelings?” Nikki says, in a patronizing tone.

“No. I just find that the afterglow with you is always riddled with strife and bitterness. I just want to fucking lie here with you and relax.”

“Could have been doing that already if your just listened to me, and switched fucking places with me when I asked.”

“You didn’t ask. You demanded.”

“What’s the fucking difference?”

“I don’t know. Just shut your fucking trap already, and lie next to me.”

“That was a demand,” Nikki giggles.

“Fuck you.”

“So was that,” Nikki can’t help but taunt.

“You think you’re being cute don’t you?”

“Just don’t know why you’re being such a pouty prick right now.”

“I’m not. Fuck all that. Come on. Lay your head down next to mine, wrap your fucking arm around me, close your eyes, and fall the fuck asleep so that you can shut the fuck up. OK?”

“At your command, asswipe,” Nikki says, as he nestles in with Tommy. “Love you.”

“Love you too, dummy,” Tommy says, kissing the top of Nikki’s head.


	8. The Rise Of Flannel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are they getting to soft for the Seattle music scene?

THE RISE OF FLANNEL

Nikki wakes up first, trying to adjust his eyes to the clock. It’s 8:03. “Fuck. Tommy, wake up,” Nikki says, shaking Tommy awake.

“Hmm?” Tommy mutters, still half asleep.

“Come on motherfucker. Wake up. I’m hungry. I didn’t think we’d nap this long.”

“What the hell time is it?” Tommy croaks in a raspy voice.

“It’s 8, and I want dinner.”

“OK. I’m getting up,” Tommy says, rubbing his face with his hands to activate his senses.

The drummer and bassist eventually haul their asses out of bed to get themselves ready to go out.

“My clothes are dry,” Nikki announces.

“Don’t you dare put the fucking shirt back on. I hope you packed another in that damn knapsack.”

“I did, but I won’t have one for tomorrow,” Nikki yells from the bathroom.

“Oh my god, common sense, dumbbell. Wash it in the sink. Hang it to dry in the shower, and put your non-toxic one on for tonight.”

“Yes, Mommy Dearest. Are you going to whip my ass with wire hangers later?”

“Maybe. Thanks for the suggestion.”

\-------------------------------

9p at Old Salty’s Fish House~

“What are we going to do tomorrow?”

“Vince and I went up in the Space Needle,” Tommy says, in a tone, as to suggest that.

“I don’t want to do anything that you did with Vince. Fuck that.”

“Did you ever go up?”

“Nope. Tourist attraction.”

“Oh yeah, because your punk ass is so down with the street scene here.”

“Ha. I wonder if my arrest warrant still stands here?”

“What’s that for?”

“I got pinched selling mescaline outside of the arena at a Stones concert. I fled back to Idaho before my court appearance. I spent the summer making money doing manual labor in the fields. Then I finally got the bright idea to split for L.A. where the music scene was. Been there ever since.”

“Both Vince and I think that you got out of Seattle just in time. Not sure about the music that’s firing up here. The mood of it makes me want to slit my throat.”

“That bad?”

“Yeah, but for some reason, I think that you’ll dig some of it.”

“Do I make people want to slit their throats?”

“Often,” Tommy says, nodding with a grin. “You and Megadeth, your roommate. How’s that going anyway?”

“If you’re referring to Mick, it’s fine. But we have to come up with a plan to switch things up again with the living arrangements.”

“Vince will never agree to living with Mick again, and I can only assume vice versa. I think separate apartments is the only way to go.”

“Think we can move them to their own apartments on the other side of the city?”

“Don’t be a dick about. Remember bonding and brotherhood. But that said, Vince sure does miss his ocean view. He might like to be on harbor. Mick would probably consent to living in anything that resembles a dungeon.”

“We’ll discuss it when we get back. But fast, or we’re going to be apart again for awhile.”

“Call the Motley office tomorrow. They have to get the new places furnished and stocked too. The sooner they know to act, the faster it will happen.”

“Good point. Hell, I’ll move out. I can live without furniture for a few days. Just need you and my bass, my journal, and maybe a blanket.”

“Sounds delightfully stupid. I’m not sleeping on no damn floor. I can fucking wait. We can find ways to be sneaky.”

“I guess.” Nikki purses his lips and looks serious all of the sudden, “Sorry about my temper tantrum that led you to leaving.”

“Fuck! Do my ears deceive me? Did Nikki Sixx just apologize for something with no prompting? Holy shit. I think leprechauns might just crawl out of your ass next and perform a little jig for our viewing pleasure.”

“Listen, Tommy O’Fuckface. Go McFuck yourself. Why is it, every time I’m being nice, you turn into a prick?”

“Balance, love. Can’t tilt the Crue Scale too far in the direction of nice and normal. It fucks things up. Full tilt in the direction of assholery is no good either. See where it led us?”

Nikki laughs, humored by Tommy’s theory. “Seriously, what the fuck do you want to do tomorrow?”

“Would you consider visiting your sister?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Are you going to hire a detective to track down my deadbeat father next?”

“I thought you liked your sister.”

“I do, but it’s too much. I have a hard time disassociating my sister from my mother. Not my sister’s fault. It’s something I need to work on and try to get past. Besides, I don’t know where she’s fucking living now.”

“Look her up in the phone book, maybe?”

“You come up with the worst fucking ideas.”

“That’s not what you said earlier,” Tommy clicks his tongue and winks.

“Fuck tomorrow for now. Let’s finish up here and go out somewhere.”

“We can catch a band, and see what you think about the music.”

“I guess. It’s that or a strip club,” Nikki determines, as if those are the only two options in the big city of Seattle.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

After dinner, Nikki and Tommy head to a local club to catch a band called Mudhoney. They stay for about 5 songs. The crowd seems rowdy, and they’ve been shoved around a little. This didn’t seem like a Motley loving crowd, and not wanting to get tangled up in a fight with a bunch of drunken douchebags, they leave. 

“The band that Vince and I caught, the crowd wasn’t as unruly. What the fuck is wrong with us, Nik? Walking away from mayhem? We live for that shit,” Tommy remarks, as they walk towards their car.

“Yeah, maybe in ‘81 and ‘82, until we got to be on bigger, higher stages, and not get our own asses caught up in it anymore.”

“Shit man, we’re not going soft are we?”

“Never, T-Bone. That just wasn’t our place. I could hear the punk influence in that music, but there were no hooks or catchy riffs. Just droning and oft repeated chords. I mean, you could bang the hell out of your head, but you can’t sing along. Maybe you’re right. I guess I did get out in time.”

“And Duff and Taime too. Vince and I checked out the new Queenryche album. We thought it was pretty good, and they’re from here.”

“Yeah, but they formed before this shit started. Good for them.”

“Wanna go back to the hotel while we still have need for destruction, love. I’m in the mood now to slap you around a bit and put you in a headlock.”

“Oh yeah? Not if I knock you the fuck out first. Then we can have nice, quiet sex.”

“You’d have sex with my unconscious body?”

“Only if you give me consent right now, so that it’s not rape,” Nikki says, propping his arms on the roof of the car from the passenger, smirking, as he looks over at Tommy, who’s unlocking it.

“No fun for me,” Tommy says, pursing his lips, as he looks over to Nikki, while opening his car door.

“I’d be more than happy to tell you all about it when you come to.”

“You’re stupid. Come on, let’s go so I can fuck you up.”


	9. Theatre Of Pain In The Ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy should have quelled that fire in his belly 5 years earlier.
> 
> **I thought about only posting this part of the chapter as a one shot. But decided on the whole thing.

THEATRE OF PAIN IN THE ASS

Tommy and Nikki arrive back at the hotel. 

“So, who’s choice tonight?” Nikki asks.

“Mine,” Tommy says, smugly.

“Why?!’ Nikki asks, furrowing his brow.

“Two reasons. One, you got your granny sex, the way you like, in the car earlier. Two, you fucking owe me. You fucked things up between us earlier in the week.”

“OK. It’s alright. You know why? Because all your fucking monkey trick stuff is back at the apartment, so what are you going to do?” Nikki smirks.

“I got ideas. Just fucking sit, and relax for a while, OK. I need to just put my feet up for a bit. Want one?” Tommy asks, holding his cigarettes out to Nikki.

“No, I’m good,” Nikki says, laying back on the bed with the TV remote; his mind uneasy, with thoughts of whatever Tommy is dreaming up. Nikki doesn’t mind kinky shit when he’s on the giving end, but he’s apprehensive with the receiving end. It means he’s not in control. Granted, everything that Tommy has so far ‘tested’ on him, he’s enjoyed; even if it took him a little bit to warm up to it. He’s been tied up. He’s been blindfolded and gagged. And put in one very odd position. But, Tommy keeps trying to push the envelope further every time, and it makes Nikki tense. He has only had to veto Tommy’s insistence of fucking him with random objects. He doesn’t see the point of it when his partner can do it himself. He also doesn’t want injury or accident. Fingers, yes please. Dildo, probably. He pretty sure that Tommy asks his wife to fuck him up the ass with household objects, which why Tommy thinks it’s normal. Not for Nikki, even though he’s been known for fucking female groupies with random objects. But, he’s been on the giving end in those instances; which have been many. He got a good portion of his basshead inside of some chick once. He felt pretty proud of that feat.

“Tom, what are you going to do to me?” Nikki asks, not able to relax.

“Shhh. I’m in zen mode,” Tommy says, blowing out smoke, as he’s one with the lounge chair that he’s sitting in.

Nikki just glares hard at him. Really for no reason, because Tommy’s eyes are closed, and he can’t see Nikki’s expressions.

Nikki is watching the 11 o’clock news, sighing loudly, and is getting irritated by shit in the Middle East, shit in the USSR, and reports about the dangers of nicotine addiction. He glances over at his nicotine addicted lover, now burning through his second cigarette. That’s mostly what’s bothering him; Tommy’s chill mood while he keeps Nikki on ice. 

“Fuck! Tom, come on! What the hell?! Nikki finally blurts out, flailing his arms around. “Just fuck me up, and get it over with!”

“Jeez, Nik. Fucking relax, will you? And is sex with me that bad? You want it over with before it even happens?” Tommy snaps back, as he’s been startled out of his reverie. 

“No, I won’t relax. Why don’t you fucking unrelax, and tell me what on your damn mind tonight! I know you’re fucking with me, and it’s irritating. You going hoist me up on the damn ceiling? Or chain me over the shitter? I don’t want that shit, and you and your smug ass know it. Plus I just heard a report that said that nicotine has the same addictive qualities of heroin and coke. So why don’t you extinguish that motherfucking thing, and start paying attention to me! Asshole!”

“Heh, heh. Is that so? I guess I’m fucked then. Fuck that shit, Nikki. Why are you watching it? That crap does nothing but bristle your tail. Fucking relax man. You’ll like tonight. Nothing fucked. I promise,” Tommy says, intentionally blowing smoke out in Nikki’s direction.

“It’s giving me an idea for a song,” Nikki says, with a pissy look still upon his face, as smoke encircles him.

“Put the song on hold, love. Come on, make some fucking music with me. I’m ready.” Tommy says, stubbing out the butt.

Tommy crawls on to the bed and sits cross-legged next to Nikki, who just laid back down again.~

“You look nervous, Nik,” Tommy says, staring down at Nikki. “Nothing to fret over.”

“Please just tell me what sort of stupid antics you have planned for tonight, then I’ll decide whether I should fret or not.”

“No worries, lover. I’m putting you in charge tonight.”

Nikki cracks a smile, “My choice then?”

“Not exactly. You know, Nikki, I’ve really been digging this weekend with you. Not just because I missed you during the week, but I feel like our relationship is being, well, more like a relationship. Not just friends who fuck and have feelings for each other….. God, I know that what goes on between us, just has to stay between us, but I still want to feel like it’s something solid. Like my marriage, but just completely secretive.”

“Don’t even think of fucking proposing to me, even as a symbolic gesture. Don’t,” Nikki warns.

“Not going to, Nik. Wasn’t even on my mind. Why so freaked about that though?”

“It’s just fucked to me. It’s not that my feelings don’t run deep. I just like how we are. And I’m not going anywhere.”

“I didn’t mean to freak you out by comparing it to my marriage, but the point I’m trying to make is that we’re more than just a fling or a thing. Letting me meet your mom, telling me you’re sorry without being asked to apologize, and even something as stupid as carrying me in here before, makes us more like a…. Uh, like a… you know a--”

Nikki interrupts, “A mothefucking couple?”

“Yeah,” Tommy smirks.

“I guess, T,” Nikki says, chewing his bottom lip.

“I mean I know you’re still looking for love, and want to have a family and all. Um, so I’m not going to try to restrict you from pursuing that and dating women. I just hope that we can continue to be us behind closed doors. You learn how to balance it. Well, kind of. I let things get in my head a lot, and well, it’s not always easy. I just know that I love you both, and I’d be devastated to lose either of you.”

“I appreciate that. We’ll see what the future brings for me, but for now I know that I’ve found love,” Nikki says, swallowing hard. It’s still sometimes difficult for him to express emotions, surprising himself that he just said that.

“Love you too,” Tommy says, bending over to place a kiss on Nikki’s lips.

“Sooo, uh, I’m glad we talked, but is there some sort of segway from this into your stupid sexcapades that you have planned?”

“Well, yes, Nik. You see, I think about you a lot. My biggest regret with you is that we didn’t get together earlier. I feel like I missed out on a lot.”

‘’Who the fuck cares. We have now and the future.”

“I care because you were fucking hot man.”

Nikki scrunches his brow, “And I’m not anymore?”

“You’re fucking hot now too, but you were always changing your look. God, you were fucking smokin’ during Shout and Theatre. I’d watch those fucking groupies throw themselves at you. You were so dirty back then. I just wish now that I acknowledged my inner feelings for you.”

“Uh, OK?’ Nikki says confused, “You want me to put makeup on or something?”

“Yeah, I do. Put it on, love.”

“I only have eyeliner and mascara on me.”

“Well good thing I have my make-up bag. I never clean it out. It’s got all my shit in it, and I grab it everytime I travel.”

“You’re not kidding, are you. You want me to put make-up on?”

“Put the fucking make-up on, Sixx.”

“I’d put my stage clothes on if I had them here.”

“It’s OK. They’ll just come off anyway. I’ll make my own polka-dots all over your body with my mouth.”

“Ha. I’d rather wear you. I don’t even have anything at home from the Theatre tour. A lot of those stage clothes were destroyed or donated. Whatever survived is stored in trunks at the Motley warehouse. I think I have my black overcoat at home, though. What’s left from Shout is also in storage. I might have a pair of pants in my closet, and I think a pair of boots.”

“Got scarves, Sixx? I hope. You had one on yesterday.” 

“I packed a scarf and a few bandannas. I still wear them sometimes when I’m having a bad hair day. Just not as glittery anymore. Well maybe off a belt loop” 

“Go on, love. Dig in my backpack and get my travel bag. Do your hair too.”

“You just said earlier that you like my hair down.”

“I said I liked it all ways. You just happened to be looking really hot at the moment, all wet and rained on. Just hurry the fuck up.”

“Can’t rush perfection,” Nikki grins.

“Take too long, you might find me asleep when you come out. Tired from waiting.”

“Unlikely. And what’s your plan after I glam up?”

“You’ll see. Don’t worry, lover. I’m not going to hurt you. You might be hurting me though.”

“That sounds promising,” Nikki says, finally going into the bathroom.

Nikki stands in front of the bathroom mirror. Not quite understanding Tommy’s fascination with his glam look. He’s done up his eyes in recent months, but really hasn’t gone all out glam, nor put the stripes under his eyes, in about two years, when the Theatre of Pain tour ended in March of 1986. He’s somewhat excited to have an excuse to put the make-up on again. It’s not really his thing anymore, but it was a signature look for quite some time. A look that he thinks will define him for years to come. He hears Tommy’s voice, snapping in his mind, telling him to hurry, so he digs into Tommy’s bag to see what he can use, and starts applying it.

\------------------------------

Tommy lies on the bed, switching off the news and putting on MTV. It’s Headbanger’s Ball, which is perfect as he waits. He thinks that Adam Curry needs to be replaced by someone cooler, immediately. His froo-froo ass just isn’t right as the show’s host. He’s hoping Nikki works fast. He knows he’ll need some time, and he knows that Nikki can be a perfectionist, and might be fussy over little things. He just wants him back out here as soon as possible. Tommy has a fantasy that he wants to make come true tonight. He lights up another cigarette.

Nikki finishes his look, by tying a black scarf around his forehead. He stares at himself in the mirror, feeling somewhat silly and somewhat sexy, and very Sixxy. He’s done, and takes a deep breath before walking out of the bathroom back to Tommy. He doesn’t know what Tommy is planning, and he feels nervous for some reason. Nervous about the unknown, but also nervous because he wants Tommy to like his look. He’s not confident that he did it right, being a little rusty at it and not having his own make-up.

“Coming out T-Bone!’ Nikki yells.

“About time. Get your fucking ass out here already!”

Nikki steps out and walks towards Tommy with trepidation.

Tommy sits up fast. “Holy shit, Sixx.” His heart pounding. “Oh my god, you’re fucking taking my breath away,” taking a long, shaky drag from his smoke before stubbing it out, a smile creeping onto his face.

“What is it you want, Tom?” Nikki asks, standing back.

“I want you to fuck me.”

“OK,” Nikki says, puzzled, taking a step closer.

“I want you to fuck me like I’m one of your groupies,” Tommy requests.

Nikki crinkles his forehead. “But I’m not typically nice to my groupies.”

“I know. I didn’t say I wanted to be treated nicely.”

“But I’m also selfish. I don’t know if I can finish you. The ladies are easier. They someones cum at first touch.”

“I’m not worried about it, Sixx. I want you to fuck me up.”

“I don’t kiss my groupies.”

“Nikki, I watched you fuck numerous groupies. I know what you do and what you don’t do. Shut your fucking mouth and do what I told you to do.”

Nikki just stands there, with his hand on his chin, unsure how to proceed.

“Oh my god, Nikki. Have you ever fucked before? Here, need some prompting?” Tommy says, getting up off the bed.

“I’m just not good at role playing. I’m, uh, just not sure how to start,” Nikki states, befores he’s ambushed by Tommy sidling up to him abruptly.

Tommy nuzzles into Nikki, like an excited puppy. “Oh NIkki, you’re the man of my dreams,” bringing his hands together and pressing them into his cheeks. “I’m your biggest fucking fan. Please take me up to your room. I’ll treat you right,“ Tommy says, bringing his voice up a couple of octaves to mimic a female fan, batting his eyelashes. “You’re so fucking handsome. I want you beautiful red lips on me,” Tommy continues, grabbing Nikki’s hand. Suddenly stopping, and staring, completely still, agape. “I want your lips on me,” Tommy whispers, in his normal tone, dropping the act, taken in by Nikki’s appearance.

“I don’t kiss my fans,” Nikki says, curling one side of his mouth up into a crooked, devilish grin, aggressively grabbing Tommy by the back of his head, by his hair. Nikki forces him to take a couple of steps back to the bed, and presses his other hand on his shoulder to lower him to the bed. “Unbuckle me,” Nikki demands.

Tommy complies, and unbuckles Nikki’s belt, and unlaces the fly on his leathers. 

“Pull them down,” Nikki commands, still standing, as Tommy sits on the edge of the bed.

Tommy pulls down Nikki’s pants to mid thigh, and sees his lover at attention, waiting for attention. Tommy takes hold of Nikki’s shaft, and squeezes firmly, and leans forward to put it in his mouth. Nikki pushes Tommy’s head down, for him to take him fully in. Usually he’s more sympathetic to Tommy’s newness at giving head, but he’s doing as Tommy requested now, and treating him just like a groupie; pushing down to the point of gagging. Fortunately, Tommy has gotten better at taking Nikki all the way, having just done it early today. But after about 90 seconds, Nikki lifts Tommy off, by pulling him up by his hair. He pulls his own pants back up, for now. Then pushes Tommy back onto the bed, his legs still hanging off, and starts to unbutton the fly on Tommy jeans, eventually yanking them off. He gets up on the bed on his knees straddling Tommy, takes a bandanna off of his belt loop, and ties Tommy’s wrists together tightly, above his head, with it; realizing he forgot to remove Tommy’s sleeveless T-shirt. Shit. Oh well. He takes a 2nd one, rolling it tightly, and ties it around Tommy’s mouth as a gag. Nikki has gagged his groupies on occasion, but not often, because he wants to keep his options open for oral sex. But he knows Tommy wants it.

“Move yourself up on the bed further,” Nikki says, knowing that it’s a bit difficult for him to do with his wrists together. 

Nikki spies an empty bottle of mineral water on the nightstand. He wonders if Tommy placed it there intentionally. He knows, that Tommy knows, that he’s often fucked girls with things like bottles before offering his own body; if he offers it at all. Probably a big let down for the girls when he doesn’t. But Nikki always thought that they still got off from him fucking them with bottles. He made many of them cum that way, sometimes at least using his hand to rub their clit as he did it. They were just times he was either power tripping, not into the girl, or just not able to get it up because of drugs or because he already fucked someone else. 

Nikki pushes Tommy’s legs apart, also noticing the lube placed near the bottle. He’s pretty sure now that Tommy did leave that and the bottle there for him to use. Nikki put the lube on 2 of his fingers, and pushed them into Tommy’s ass, while sitting on the bed next to him. Tommy gasped, and threw his head back.

“You like that? You like the way I make you feel?”

Tommy pants through the gag, and nods his head. Nikki pulls his fingers out, and picks up the bottle. He shakes it in front of Tommy while letting a villainous smirk spread across his face. He inserts it into him, and begins to fuck him with it. He intentionally tries to rub it against Tommy’s prostate, so that he can help Tommy get on his way to an orgasm. If Tommy wants to be treated like a groupie, he’s going to get rapid, rough sex, and it won’t be enough time to bring him to an orgasm, The prostate one needs to be cultured, no matter how turned on you are; it takes some time. The bottle is a perfect vehicle for this to start getting Tommy there.

“How’s it feel? You like Nikki Sixx fucking you with this?”

Tommy can only continue to moan through the gag. Nikki continues using the bottle on Tommy for about 3 or 4 more minutes, watching Tommy squirm. He can’t wait anymore. He wants to be inside himself. He pulls his pants back down and removes them completely, then throws his shirt off. Nikki puts the lube on his cock,  
but first lays himself on top of Tommy, still spread open with the bottle still in him. They’re face to face. 

“You hungry for me? Should I leave the bottle inside you, or do you want my cock inside of you?” Nikki asks, hovering his red lips right over Tommy’s gagged mouth. Tommy can only squirm and pant through the gag, staring at Nikki’s lips that he wants so badly, which are so close to his. His handsome, painted face directly over his, yearning.

Nikki pulls himself off of Tommy, and decides to tease him a little more, for about another minute with the bottle. Tommy seems to be groaning for his partner, but the partner is content to watch him writhe around in wanton agony. Finally Nikki can’t take it himself anymore, he needs to be inside. He pulls the bottle out, tossing it to the carpeted floor. He tells Tommy to tilt himself upward for a moment so that he can get at the correct angle for penetration. Nikki pushes himself in aggressively, and Tommy is nearly beside himself, trying to yell out and grab for something. 

“You like that? Do I feel good inside of you?” Nikki suddenly forces himself all the way in, and hovers over Tommy propping himself up with his hands. “Tell me how much you like it, bitch.” 

Tommy can’t answer him with the scarf in his mouth, although it reads in his eyes. Nikki starts to forcefully thrust himself in and out, making sure he hits a commanding stop at the end of each thrust. “I didn’t hear you, bitch. Answer me. Do you like it?” Do you want it? Harder? I’ll fuck you harder you fucking whore. I know you want it. You’re a whore for me.”

Nikki picks up the pace, exciting his own self a little too much. He’s riveted watching Tommy take what he’s giving; whimpering through that gag, as he digs his fingernails into Tommy’s flesh.

“Come on whore! Scream it out for me. I’m a whore for Nikki Sixx. Aren’t you, baby?” Nikki says, hovering over Tommy, who’s looking back at him intently. He brings his bound hands in front of him, and reaches out to touch Nikki’s chest and throat with his fingertips; he’s gotta touch him. Nikki can’t help but to move his face towards Tommy’s fingers. He grazes his lips over Tommy’s fingers, and opens his mouth to lick them. Tommy awkwardly rests them on his own face, hoping Nikki will suck on them. Nikki takes the bait, pushing his mouth downward onto Tommy’s fingers, sucking on one or two of them at a time, rolling his tongue along them, as he continues to thrust himself inside of Tommy’s sexy ass. Tommy is over the moon, and immediately finds himself hitting his orgasm, throwing his head back, trying to scream through the rolled scarf, violently shuddering.

Nikki feels himself nearing climax, and pulls off of Tommy’s fingers. Tommy’s sees Nikki close his eyes, and hears him moaning, and then stiffening. Nikki grabs onto a chunk of Tommy’s hair, and then bears back down on Tommy’s fingers, actually biting them pretty hard as he rides out his orgasm, drool dripping from his mouth, then picking his head up to gasp for air, finally collapsing on Tommy.

Tommy moves his bound hands back above his head, allowing Nikki to lean the side of his head. Nikki props himself up again for just a minute to release himself from Tommy, then lays his full body weight back down, his head facing outward, leaning against Tommy’s facing the other way.

“Now would be the time when I either kick you out, or I go to the bathroom to shoot up so I can pass out and not have to interact anymore,” Nikki says, quietly, if a bit shaky, still coming down from his high. 

Tommy intertwines his legs around Nikki’s, as a silent gesture to tell him to stay, and then attempts to lower his arms around Nikki’s upper body; not exactly able to get them around him in a good place, as the tight bandanna is twisting his wrist around uncomfortably.

Nikki picks his head up again to look at Tommy. He smirks when he sees how uncomfortable Tommy looks, and wonders if it’s time to remove the gag, or keep him silent for a while longer. “Do you want me to free you?”

Tommy looks with pleading eyes at Nikki, and nods his head yes. It’s not so much the discomfort, it’s because he wants to wrap his arms around Nikki and get his mouth on him. As much as they’re done, so speak with the sex, Tommy isn’t done with Nikki. He needs more. He needs him squeezed against his body, and he especially needs Nikki’s perfectly painted pout on him.

Nikki sits up, pulling his head out of Tommy’s looped arms which were around his neck; now straddling Tommy, as he unties his wrists first, which immediately land on Nikki’s hips, clutching them tightly.

“I kind of like you like this T, quiet. Not sure about taking this off,” Nikki says, tugging on it.

Tommy takes his hands off of Nikki’s hips and pulls the gag off himself. “Did you forget that you just untied my hands, dummy? 

Nikki realizes that he did forget that; Tommy had use of his hands again. He doesn’t let on because he knows he’s a dumbass.

“Thankfully for you, love, I’m not in the mood to talk. Come here, I need you lips on mine. I’ve been wanting them the entire time,” Tommy says, pulling Nikki down by one of his necklaces.

Tommy is panting audibly and shaking as Nikki’s lips graze his, “God, you’re beautiful,” Tommy breathes, as he puts his hand on the back of Nikki’s head to pull him into the kiss.

Tommy wants to devour Nikki completely. The sex was incredible; nearly everything Tommy wanted from Nikki. Thinking that maybe he could have even gone a little harder and sleazier. And now comes part two. Tommy has been waiting to get his mouth on Nikki’s cherry red lips. He still feels like he’s in a dream as Nikki’s lips push onto his. Tommy feels nervous and overstimulated, like a teenage boy, as the kiss opens up. He thinks that he’s more turned on than he was at their first kiss. Tommy believes that their first kiss was overshadowed by too much sexual desire. Nikki wasn’t a very willing participant, and it damaged the mood of it a bit. It was still quite electrifying to finally have that moment to explore the inside of Nikki’s mouth, and to feel his tongue slide along and twirl around his own, but still, it slipped in under the shadow of wanton sex. For a year prior, maybe 2, maybe even more than Tommy is willing to admit, he fantasized heavily about all kinds of scenarios for their first kiss; serendipitous, long-awaited and sensual, aggressive, love-lorned, quiet and perfect. Pretty much everything other than the way it actually happened. But it’s now part of their history, just the way it happened. 

Tommy doesn’t know why he’s so turned on right now, but he’s pretty sure it’s because he had sexual feelings for Nikki a lot longer than he’s even been able to admit to himself. Tommy has been very forth-coming with admitting his long-awaited desires for the bassist. Nikki has not been forthcoming in admitting any prior affections for the drummer. But now Tommy finds himself questioning his own timeline of desire. He swears he must have really wanted Nikki sexually, as far back as the Shout at the Devil era. He suppressed his own thoughts and desires, deep enough, that it confuses him. He’s fairly certain now, how much he actually wanted his friend back then, and never got to have him. He watched countless groupies flock around him, watching Nikki often selecting one or 2 to go off with; really wishing it was him that he chose. Then feeling let down, just like the sad and disappointed girls who were left behind. But now it is his turn. He’s become the chosen one, and he wants to value every minute of it; no every single second. 

Nikki, who’s unaware of the thoughts in his lover’s head, adjusts his body to a comfortable position to have an extended make-out session with the drummer. He loves that Tommy is drooling over him right now, and he’s happy to offer himself to him.

Surprisingly after a few minutes of kissing, Tommy pulls away. He’s losing feeling in some of his body parts. “Nikki, I need to sit up.” 

Nikki pulls himself up off of Tommy, sitting himself cross-legged on the bed, as Tommy lifts himself off the bed, from the position that he’s been in for close to a half hour, also getting to a sitting position.

“Damn,” Tommy says, stretching himself out by twisting his torso around. Feeling his muscles easing up again, he looks Nikki in the face, and places his hands on his face, rubbing his fingers on the scarf, still tied around his head. “Nikki, you’re so fucking sexy right now. I don’t think that I’m done with you,” Tommy reveals, throwing his own shirt off, a little late in the game. “I’m more than happy and ready to give you what you like, lover. I need you some more, and I’ll take that position on top of you. I want to stare at your face.”

Nikki doesn’t have anything to say, he just lies back on the bed, and spreads his legs wide open for Tommy, who reaches over him to grab the lube. Tommy’s breath is shaky, as he rubs Nikki’s thighs. He seems mesmerized by him. Tommy sits, kneeling on his haunches, as he shines up his cock, staring at Nikki in a dream state as he does it. He starts jerking himself off as he stares. Nikki is turned on, as he watches his Terror Twin, stroking himself, yet yearning to feel what’s in Tommy’s own hand inside himself. He opens his legs further and bucks his hips once to remind Tommy that he’s waiting for him. Without much effort, Tommy slides his erection right inside Nikki, not breaking his fixed gaze.

Nikki moans out loud, feeling immediate pleasure, throwing his head back, trying to catch his breath. “I make you feel that good, love?” Tommy asks, with a look of surprise on his face, as if he suddenly doubts what his dick can do. “I want to make you feel good, Sixx. Oh my god, I want you to feel so good,” Tommy dribbles out, leaning his body on Nikki’s to get closer. “I love you so much, Nikki.”

Tommy continues to fuck Nikki, enamored by him, watching him quiver and listening to him gasp and groan, eventually getting him to his climax, a full spectacle for the drummer to watch, right before letting go himself, inside the one he loves.

After a few quiet minutes, Tommy pulls himself off of Nikki, and lies on his side next to him. Winding his fingers around Nikki’s hair, where the scarf runs through.

“You’re giving me a lot of attention; almost like a fucking stalker,” Nikki remarks, breaking the sensual mood.

“I’m just a little giddy I guess,” Tommy replies. “You look like a doll, Nik. I’m having a hard time controlling myself.”

“So you like fucking dolls? I betcha you used to sneak into your sister’s room at night, when you were a kid, and fuck her Holly Hobby doll.”

“I fuck living dolls,” Tommy says, sitting up, reaching for his smokes.

“While you’re reaching up, hand me the wipes. Clean up, and fucking relax, and then go to sleep.” Nikki has a plan.

Before passing them to Nikki, Tommy takes a wipe for himself, tossing it to the floor when he’s finished, then lights up.

“You’re going to kill yourself with those, T.”

“This is how I relax. You like me when I’m relaxed, right? Or do you want me fucking hyped up?”

“Just cut back, babe, pleeease,” Nikki says, putting a pout on his lips.

“Don’t fucking do that, or I’m going to fuck you again,” Tommy warns.

“Do what? Try to preserve your life?”

“No, pout. Makes me weak.”

“How about I take my fucking make-up off. We’ve had our fun,” Nikki suggests.

“No, love, please don’t. Just lie here with me,” Tommy pleads.

“Fine. I don’t feel like getting up anyway. Finish that fucking thing up, and come lay next to me.”

“I will,” Tommy says, taking another drag. “What do you think about Aerosmith’s song Angel?” Tommy says, pointing towards the TV with his cigarette, as he exhales.

Nikki lifts his head to catch a better view of the video on the TV. “I don’t know. It’s my favorite fucking band. It doesn’t sound like them, but people ride us about our ballads and it’s bullshit. Like we have guidelines to follow or something. So let ‘em do what they want. I’ll tell you one thing, it’s a good song to fuck to.”

“Is that an invitation., Sixx?”

“Oh my god, no. Seriously, my ass needs some down time. Stay away from it.”

Tommy shrugs, crushing the rest of his smoke, “Just checking.”

“I don’t even know how you do it, Tom. I’m telling you, it’s a fucking super power.”

“Maybe. I don’t know whether you’re my power source or my kryptonite. You fire me up, yet I’m so weak for you at the same time,” Tommy says, settling in next to Nikki, kissing his lips, before lying down.

Tommy continues to brush his fingers along the contours of Nikki’s face. “T, I’m tired. You’re keeping me awake.”

“Can’t help myself, love bug.”

“Then I’ll help you,” Nikki says, turning on his side, away from Tommy.

Tommy closes in on Nikki, filling in his gaps, where his knees bend and his back curves, with his own shape, fitting them together perfectly, then wrapping his arms around Nikki, burying his face in his hair.

“Seriously, how the fuck are you hard again already?” Nikki blares out.

“Shhh,” Tommy whispers, starting to grind his erection against Nikki’s ass.

“Seriously, T-Bone. My ass is fucking sore, and I’m tired.”

“Then turn to face me, doll.”

“Why, so you can make love to my face all night?”

“If that’s what you want,” Tommy says, grinding harder and tapping the head of his cock against Nikki’s entrance.

“Oh my god, Tommy. I’m going to make you fucking carry me on your back tomorrow if I can’t fucking walk.”

While Nikki is barking out his threat, Tommy is already reaching for the lube. 

“Shhh, my love,” Tommy says, as a whisper, into Nikki’s ear, while pushing into him again.


	10. Dr. Feelgood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nikki likes his mornings with Tommy.

DR. FEELGOOD

It’s morning. Daylight starts to stream into the hotel room, along the edges of the drawn curtains, beaming brightly around them like the corona of a solar total eclipse. Nikki opens his eyes, stretching out before retreating fully back under the covers to stay toasty. He sees Tommy sprawled out, limbs outstretched in all sorts of directions in and out of the covers, hair wrapped around is face. Nikki knows that he fell asleep last night, tightly wrapped in the drummer’s arms, and somehow he’s unwound himself into this ragged configuration while sleeping. Nikki takes the remote to shut the TV off, which was left on all night. He’s enjoying the quietness of the morning, only aware of the hum of the radiator and a barely audible snore from Tommy. He looks over at his lover, and as messy and sloppy as he is, Nikki wishes he could wake up to twisted Tommy every morning. He knows this is just a temporary situation. Not just referring to today’s hotel situation having to go back to shared apartments later, but the relocation to Vancouver is just temporary. Tommy has Heather at home in L.A. and lives with her. Nikki let’s out a sigh.

He sits up and kisses Tommy’s outstretched hand, then heads to the bathroom to remove his make-up and get in the shower. His make-up held up pretty well, considering his face rubbing into the sheets, and Tommy’s hands all over him. His body is a different story, feeling a little achy. Tommy handled their last romp in the sheets last night, roughly, despite Nikki’s pleas to calm down. Tommy suddenly got a second wind out of nowhere and rode Nikki from behind like a cowboy on a bridled horse; choking his neck and sticking his fingers in Nikki’s mouth as he bucked up and down on him. What could Nikki do, except let it happen? God, he loves it so much, even when he thinks that he’s not in the mood. Nikki steps into the shower, and lets the warm shower water spread out over his achy body. It feels good. He’s pretty certain that Tommy is going to insist on morning sex. It’s been a ritual of theirs, for the few short days that they got to live together since their very first wake-up together in Vancouver. Nikki will only agree to it if he tops. He decides this as he scrubs his sore ass. Tommy is going to do some damage if he’s not careful.

Nikki finishes up, feeling better. He chooses to stay undressed for now. It’s 10am. Check out is in 2 hours. He decides to order breakfast from room service, getting pancakes and bacon for Tommy. Toast for himself. Coffee for both, and maybe some OJ. It’ll be up in 20 minutes. He’ll let the knock on the door wake Tommy up.

\-------------------------

The knock comes. Nikki decides that he’ll be civil and grab a towel to wrap around his bare bottom. As he’s doing that, the server knocks again. When Nikki exits the bathroom, he sees Tommy stirring as he glances at him. Nikki opens the door a crack, and hands the server a tip, telling him to leave the tray. He doesn’t want to take a chance of anyone seeing inside the room. Nikki closes the door, and sees Tommy pushing his hair back off of his face, and rubbing his eyes. “Who was that?” Tommy speaks, with a low, raspy voice.

“Room service. Breakfast for us.”

“What time is it?”

“Close to 10:30. We got 90 minutes,” Nikki says, cracking the door open and checking to see if anyone is around so that he could bring the tray in. The coast is clear.

“What’d you get me?” Tommy asks, still stretching.

“Bacon and pancakes. Coffee too, for a little wake up.”

“You’re my favorite wake up, love,” he says, finally focusing in on Nikki. “You cleaned your face?”

“I looked like hell. Besides, I’m a little nervous to leave your old make-up on my face for too long. I don’t want a rash.”

Tommy poses with a frown for a few moments, before getting up off the bed to come get breakfast. “Thank you for feeding me.”

“Fuck. I’m not paying for this. I just dropped 2K at the music shop. The hotel is all on you.”

“What? You fucking invited me to come to Seattle with you. Should be all your treat, cheap ass.”

“That’s not what you said about my ass last night,” Nikki grins.

“Speaking of, I think we have time for---”

“Not my ass, your fucking ass,” Nikki interrupts, laying out the morning rules for today. “Mine has strict orders from the doctor to get nothing but rest today.”

“From what doctor?”

“Me!” Nikki says, sticking his pointer finger up, “I specialize in anal probes. I’ll give you one on the house after breakfast. Your health is very important to me.”

“I guess I can’t turn down free healthcare.”

“That’s my boy,” Nikki says reaching over to give Tommy a good morning kiss. “Also doctor’s orders.”


	11. Uncle Nikki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy plants one little kiss on Nikki's lips, yet it changes things in a way neither expected.

UNCLE NIKKI

Tommy and Nikki toss their bags in the backseat of the car, then hop in.

“Where to?’ Nikki asks.

“Well, I was hoping that you’d drop by this music store with me. Um, I know you said you didn’t want to go anywhere that Vince and I went to, but well, the kids there really want to meet you. You know, you’re kind of loved around this city.”

“Loved? That’s a stretch. I know at least one in this city who has zero love for me. Then maybe a store owner and some cops. Maybe an ex girlfriend or 2.”

“Sorry, Nik. I didn’t mean to remind you of that. But, please would you come? For me?”

“I guess. You’re too pathetic to say no to.”

“Well, while you’re feeling that vibe, did you consider your sister anymore?”

“I don’t know how to get in touch with her, T.”

“I do. I found her in the phone book.”

“How’d you know her last name?”

“I saw a couple of letters addressed to her at your mom’s house. I didn’t remember the address, but I saw the last name.”

“Let me think about it. Let’s go take care of your music store request first.”

\------------------

Tommy brings Nikki to the store. The clerks are thrilled to have Nikki come in for a visit. They take the poster down from the wall again to get Nikki to sign it. Now it’s just missing Mick’s. Good luck with that.

Tommy and Nikki leave, getting back into the car. They drive away, with nowhere to go yet, just so no one flocks the car in that parking lot.

“What do you think, Nik?”

“I guess it doesn’t hurt to try calling her. Find a fucking pay phone.”

After a few minutes of driving up and down a few streets, Tommy spots a phone booth in a fast food parking lot.

Nikki gets out with a few dimes and his sister’s number, and dials it. She answers.

Nikki feels a pang in his chest, then finally chokes out, “Hi sis, it’s Nikki.”

After a few minutes on the phone, Nikki gets back into the car, and nods his head. “She gave me her address and said to come over. I scribbled down some directions on this receipt. We might need to call her again. I’m not sure I wrote it right, or if I can read my writing.”

“Great. I love you, Nik.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just go,” Nikki says, not so sure he wants to go.

\---------------------

They take a few wrong turns, trying to decipher Nikki’s chicken scratch, but they finally make it to the house.

“Are you OK, Nikki? Tommy asks, watching Nikki bite his bottom lip, and wring his hands together. “Cigarette?’

“No, thanks. I’m fine. It’s just that this is different from my mom’s. I know how she feels about me. I’m not quite sure with my sister. Some of our distance from one another is my fault. Well, most of it is my fault,” Nikki says, pursing his lips.

“I’m here with you, love,” Tommy comforts, reaching over to plant a lasting kiss on Nikkis’ lips.

“I know. I can do this. I have to do this, now that I’m getting my life together; you know with sobriety and all. I got broken roads to repair.”

They knock and Ceci opens the door with a wide smile. She takes Nikki into her arms before he even has a chance to take her in with his eyes. She hugs him tightly, and he hugs her back, full embrace. They pull apart, and Nikki sees his sister look Tommy up and down.

“I’m sure you know this is Tommy Lee, drummer of the band, And Tom, this is my sister Ceci.”

“I know, the Terror Twins.”

“It’s nice to meet you, and yes that’s me and your brother. So far nothing in Seattle has gone up in smoke and down in flames.

Both Nikki and Tommy can see little hands poking out from behind Ceci’s legs, and inquisitive, little voices.

“Um, come in. These are my boys, your nephews, Nikki. You held my oldest when he was a baby.”

“I remember. I should have been there to hold your younger boy too.”

Ceci shrugs with an expression that reads that she doesn’t disagree with that statement. “Boys, this is your Uncle Nikki. Mommy’s brother.”

Nikki squats down to their level with a big grin on his face. The older one steps back with an unsure look on his face. The little one grabs onto Tommy’s leg. 

“Mommy, what’s wrong with his hair? He’s a witch,” the older boy says, cowering behind his mom’s legs.

Nikki looks up at Ceci wide-eyed, not expecting that he’d freak out the kids. 

“Baby, Uncle Nikki plays music, and he has to look like that, but his hair goes flat like mommy’s when it gets wet.”

Nikki flattens hit hair down with his hands, “See it goes down. Just like mom’s. I make it look spiky because people think it looks cool. Don’t you think it looks cool?”

The older one shrugs. The younger, still clinging to Tommy.

“Look, I got something for you. Nikki takes a necklace off of his neck. This makes me cool too, but I think it will make you look super cool,” he says, extending his hand out with the necklace, hoping the kid doesn’t freak out even more.

“It’s OK, sweetie. Take it from Uncle Nikki. I’ll put it on you.”

The kid takes it, Ceci puts it around her son’s neck, and the kid smiles, admiring it. “Am I cool, mom?”

10 minutes later both kids are running around the house, bat shit crazy, jumping on their Uncle Nikki, smacking him with toys, while squealing with delight.

Ceci asks Tommy if he wants anything to eat or drink, as they sit at the table and chat about the band for a little while, while the kids abuse their uncle. Tommy looks over just in time to see Nikki get bashed in the face with Teddy Ruxpin; the battery pack and cassette deck cracking into his forehead.

“The bear wants to tell you a story about the dangers of concussions, Nikki,” Tommy giggles.

About 2 minutes later, Nikki surrenders when the younger boy is pulling fiercely on Nikki’s hair, and the older child launches himself off the couch, his flailing foot landing smack right on Nikki’s groin, the rest of his body squashing Nikki’s guts. Nikki, rolls onto his side, cupping his balls, wincing from the pain.

“All right.That’s enough boys! I think you’ve welcomed your uncle enough. Mommy wants to sit and talk with him.”

Nikki moans, stumbling to his feet, hobbling over to the dining room table, “Your turn, Tommy.” He takes a seat on a chairs, and lays his head on the table, still recovering, whispering the word, fuck.

“Nikki, are you OK?” Ceci asks, mildly concerned.

“Yep. Give me another minute,” he chokes out.

Tommy can’t stop laughing.

“Fuck you, Tom. You get out there,” Nikki says in a pained voice, picking his head up off the table.

“Sorry Nikki. They’re a little bit of a handful sometimes,” Ceci says.

“It’s OK, sis. I’m OK,” Nikki says, trying to sport a grin. “Tom, seriously. I want to talk to my sister. Go keep the kids entertained.”

“Watch and learn, loser,” Tommy gets up from the table and walks into the living room, immediately met with an onslaught of grabbing little hands.

Nikki lets out a little laugh, seeing Tommy get attacked.

“Want something to drink?” Ceci asks.

“Just water. Not sure if you heard that I’m sober now,” Nikki shares.

“Mom told me you were in rehab. So I hoped that you came out clean,” Ceci says, getting up to get water. “You look better, from the last time I saw you.”

“I can imagine. I was a mess for a number of years.”

Ceci returns with a glass of water with ice, and places it in front of her brother. “Did you visit mom?”

Nikki nods. “She looked well. But, I can’t say that the visitation went well,” Nikki says, pursing his lips and shrugging one shoulder.

“I know, Nikki. I know it’s not easy for you. It hasn’t exactly been so easy for me, since I moved out. She took offense to that, but I know how to handle her. I mean, she did raise me. And look at me. I’m not so bad, am I? She did some things right. I know she did some things wrong too. It wasn’t always easy for me, or for her. You and I just got dealt different hands.”

“I think it was better for Nona and Tom to raise me. I loved Nona a lot. One person that never doubted me. Tom too.”

“I never doubted your version of things, Nikki. I looked up to you. But once mom and I came to Seattle. It seems like our relationship changed. I didn’t want it to.”

“I know. I had a lot of problems, and some of it came from feeling abandoned. Definitely from my dad, but also from mom. And as I got older, my anger grew. Mom and I just went head to head too often. It was hard for me, at that point, to disassociate you from her. I’m sorry.”

“I understand. But I can’t say that it didn’t hurt. You took care of me when I was little. That meant everything to me. And then it was like I lost you.”

“I’m sorry, Ce. I was nervous about coming here, because I knew that we’d have to talk about this. I was too fucked up for a lot of years, to even face it. Now that I’m sober, I have a lot of cleaning and patching up to do. I was so fucked up that I couldn’t even make it to Nona’s funeral. The person who raised me and loved me, and I didn’t even go,” Nikki says, trying to hold back tears.

“It’s OK at this point Nikki. Nona knows how much you loved her. I’m sure she can see it now.”

Nikki just nods his head lightly, while biting on his bottom lip, again. Sniffing his nose, which is a sign of tears close by.

“I loved Nona too. The years where we lived together with her and Tom, and sometimes mom, were my most memorable years. And that mostly because of you. I loved being your little sister.”

“Thank you, sis,” Nikki says, reaching out to embrace his sister again. “I love you.”

Their embrace is suddenly interrupted by loud crashes and crazy screeching. They look over and see that Tommy and the boys have set out an array of toys and boxes for them to bang on with plastic shovels, like a makeshift drum kit. The kids are squealing and giggling as Tommy raps on the toys and boxes. Then they try, smashing the stuff a little too hard.

Ceci notices Nikki staring, smiling at them, his eyes still glistening from near tears. “He’s better with them than I am,” Nikki says, turning back to his sister.

“Not better. Just more organized. A man with a plan. I think they really love their Uncle Nikki.”

“I might agree with you there, but my balls are still a little unsure about that.”

Ceci giggles. “Nikki, are you dating anyone?”

“No. I told you last time we talked that I broke up with my psycho girlfriend a number of months ago at this point. Between rehab and starting on the new album, I really haven’t had much time to invest in looking.”

“What’s the status of the Terror Twins?” Ceci asks.

“What?” Nikki says, his heart pounding. What does she mean, he thinks to himself. What the hell. “Uh what do you mean? Uh, we’re not on tour, so we’ve been laying low.”

“Nikki, I mean what I said. I saw him kiss you on the lips in the car. I was eager for you to arrive and was looking out the window when you pulled in.”

Nikki feels the blood drain from his face, and can’t formulate any words.

“It’s OK. I mean, I guess it doesn’t shock me. You used to paint your nails and wear heels. Sometimes I’d wonder.”

“Uh, well, you have a bit of a wrong idea. See Tommy’s married. Uh, you know that. To Heather Locklear. And you see, I’m going to get married someday and start a family. I’m going to have kids. And you’ll be an aunt. So--” Nikki knows that he’s rambling nonsense off, as his sister interrupts his train wreck of an answer.

“Nikki. I don’t care. You can tell me. I saw him kiss you, and I saw the smile on your face. And I saw the way that both of you have been looking at each other. Besides, your expression and rambling have given it away.”

Nikki starts running his hands through his hair, “Oh my god,” Nikki finally mutters, moving his hands to rub over his face. 

Ceci starts giggling, “I’ve kissed a girl or 2. It’s not a big deal. If you’re worried about me saying anything, I never would. I’d never do that to you.”

“I don’t know. We just have a thing. Being in a band does strange things to you. We spend a hell of a lot of time together and we’re on the road together,” Nikki tries to explain. He feels badly calling their relationship a ‘thing’. They just established this weekend that what they have is more than just a thing, and here he is explaining it as such.

“OK, Nikki. You look like I just shit on your birthday cake.”

“I’m sorry, sis. It’s just that nobody knows. Not a single person. You caught me off guard.”

“I won’t say anything. I promise you.”

“Tommy’s married. Um, it’s… oh my god,” Nikki says, looking down.

“I gotcha, brother. I wouldn’t even think about telling mom, either. Please trust me, OK? I told mom once about one of my fem kisses, just to piss her off. She went through the roof, and lectured me forever about appropriate behavior. I rolled my eyes the whole time, and then went out and did it again. I was just experimenting.”

“Ce, I can’t talk to you about it. But I hear what you’re saying. Um, we’re just really close. We’ve been through a lot. He keeps me grounded. Has a better attitude than I do.”

“If you’re happy Nikki, then just follow your heart. I guess you guys work it out. You know, with him married and all.”

“It’s not always easy, but he figures it out. Maybe I’ll be in his position someday. I want kids. Although after today, I don’t know. Your boys kicked my ass and crushed my nuts,” Nikki says, rubbing his head, where he was smashed with the toy.

“Bleeding a little there. More like a scratch. Want some ice?”

“Nah, I’ve had much worse. I can fight 5 motherfuckers in a bar fight, and still come out on top, maybe a little battered. But, I had no chance against you kids. Shit,” Nikki says, happy to be off of the direct subject of Tommy.

“Ha, Nikki. That means they love you. They love him too,” Ceci says, pointing towards Tommy.

“I guess,” Nikki says, looking at his lover playing with his nephews. Then turning back to his sister, “I’m glad I came today. It was his idea.”

“Well, he’s smarter than you then.”

“Sometimes he is. I’m just stubborn and afraid to face my fears. It takes time, and sometimes a good kick in my ass.”

“Mommy! Uncle Nikki! Come see my concert! I’m a real rock star!” the older boy, shouts from the living room, jumping up and down like a maniac.

“Come on, let’s go see. Then I’ll get them down for a nap.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------

They watched the kids’ drum concert with “Uncle” Tommy. It was cute and pure agony, all at once. It took a while, but Ceci finally got them off for a nap. But while she was in the bedroom with her kids, Nikki and Tommy sat on the couch.

“How are you balls, Nik. Do I have to nurse them later?” Tommy asks.

Nikki smiles, “They’re going to be OK. But, you’re welcome to inspect them later.”

“Those kids handed your ass to you on a plate. Saw you give it the old college try though.”

“I guess I need more practice. You were a pro, T.”

“There are benefits to being eternally 12 years old, as everyone tells me I am.”

“Yeah. Meanwhile, I’m worn out. I can play a concert for 2 hours straight, every night, but barely survived 20 minutes with my nephews.”

“You’re pathetic, doll.”

“I don’t disagree,” Nikki exhales, “Hey Tom?”

“Wuzzup?”

“My sister knows about us,” Nikki reveals, backing up a few inches.

“What?! How? You told her?” Tommy asks, concerned.

“She saw you kiss me in the car, motherfucker. And she asked about it. Well, more like coaxed it out of me.”

“Well, shit. I mean. What did she say?”

“Couple things. One, she’s cool with it. Two, don’t worry. She won’t tell anyone. We had a good talk. Well, uncomfortable for me, but I trust her.”

“Fuck,” Tommy huffs. “I’m not upset. It’s just weird. So, when she walks out here again, she knows?”

“That’s what I just said.”

“Can we make out then?”

“Uh, no. Fuck off about that here.”

“Why? It’s like your little sister catching her big brother making out with someone on the couch.”

“You might feel like you’re 12 years old, and get all tickled by that concept, but I don’t. I’m not making out with you in front of her.”

“Just asking…….. You know, Nik, I’ve toyed with the notion of telling my sister.”

“Why would you do that? I didn’t tell my sister. She found out.”

“I don’t know. I trust her and I confide in her. Maybe I was feeling a need for a 3rd party outlet. But, I didn’t want to betray your trust in me. I mean, I didn’t think that you’d be happy if someone else knew what you’re doing.”

“Why do you need an outlet? And you’re right, I don’t want someone else knowing what I do with you. I’m not ready for that.”

“You were my outlet because we’re best friends, but now that we’re also lovers, I also feel a need to talk about my feelings sometimes. I have a lot of confused thoughts in my head. Not bad things, just confusing things with you and my wife. My sister is a good listener, and I trust her with my life.”

“You overthink things too much. You shouldn’t need an outlet.”

“That’s the pot calling the kettle black. And you have your own outlet, your journals. I need one too. I just don’t write. I talk. And don’t judge me about the conflicts I have in my head until you’re in my shoes.”

“We’ll talk later, Tom. I hear my sister coming. OK?”

“OK. Love you, Nik.”

“Same.”

“Phew, thanks for waiting. They boys were a little wound up. That took a bit longer than usual,” Ceci says, re-entering the living room.

“Oh course,” Nikki says.

“Can I get you something to eat?”

“Uh, we didn’t have lunch yet, but we can go out?”

“Lunch? It’s after 3.”

“Late breakfast. We’re not a 9-5 schedule,” Tommy inserts.

“Well, let’s see. I can make you mac n’ cheese, chicken nuggets, buttered noodles, or grilled cheese. That’s about our speed here.”

“Oh dude! Grilled cheese!” Tommy belts out.

“Eternally 12,” Nikki says, popping his eyebrows up.

The 2 men stand in the kitchen while Ceci cooks~

“Sis, I told Tommy what we talked about.”

She turns around from the stove, “So you know that I know, Tommy?”

“Uh, yeah,” he sighs.

“I’m cool with it, Tommy. I’m glad you like my brother, and now my kids have another uncle.”

“Ce, don’t say that. We’re not like, married. OK?” Nikki says.

“Come on, Nikki. We have the smallest family circle. More “family” is good,” she says, quoting family with her fingers. “Even if he was just your best friend, he’d still be an uncle. Lighten the fuck up.”

Nikki just exhales loudly, while Tommy grins at him. Nikki wants to knock him back, but refrains. He’s not sure if he’s just embarrassed or if he’s jealous. Tommy has his own family, which Nikki is not part of. Nikki just reestablished a connection with his sister, and didn’t realize that it’s a packaged deal with Tommy. Oh course, if it weren’t for Tommy insisting that they come here, there’d be no connection.

“So, are you bothered by me knowing, Tommy?”

“It’s fine. I don’t mind. Look, it’s just weird. No one knew before today. I have a wife. That’s who people see me with, and know me to be with. And she doesn’t know any of this. I find a way to balance things. I love my wife and I love your brother.”

Nikki can’t help it. He shoves Tommy hard in the shoulder, causing him to slam into the wall, making a vase on a shelf above his head wobble.

They all watch the vase to see if it’s going to tumble. It settles back into place, and Tommy taps it back an inch with his finger. “What the fuck, Nik?”

“Just stop, OK?”

“What, Nikki? That he loves you?” Ceci says, smirking, as she serves the sandwiches up.

“Can we just stop talking about this. It’s a private affair, OK?”

“He’s sensitive,” Tommy says in an exaggerated whisper, taking his plate, and walking over to the table.

“Fuck off, Tom,” Nikki says, sitting down with his plate. “Can we just talk about the fucking album or something?”


	12. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nikki is beginning to learn a thing or two. Maybe Tommy is too.

Driving Home  
\-------‐-----  
Tommy and Nikki eat lunch, and talk with Ceci about the new album, and some old demons, like the overdose. Their relationship is touched on a little bit more, but Nikki keeps his cool during the conversation. His nephews are due to get up from their naps soon, so it’s a good time to split. Nikki hugs his sister, and vows to keep in touch more often, and visit again soon. He makes sure that there’s nothing she needs at the moment, and then he and Tommy leave.~

“How are you doing, Nik?” Tommy asks, after they get in the car.

“I’m OK. I’m glad that I saw my sister.”

“What about her knowing? You seem touchy about that.”

“I don’t care that she knows. I just wasn’t prepared to have my feelings revealed. It’s uncomfortable.”

“Because I’m a guy, right?”

“I’m not going to lie, yes. I just wasn’t prepared for anyone to know that about me. And don’t get upset with me for saying that. I just need time for these things. It doesn’t negate my feelings for you in any way. You know that it took me time to come to terms with it myself, and now for someone else to know….. Well, it’s just not easy for me. Sorry, Tom.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I understand the way you tick, love.”

“Are you bothered at all by my sister knowing? Not just knowing, but knowing,” Nikki says, stressing the last word.

“What the hell do you mean, dummy.”

“Like knowing that you’re into a guy. I mean you’re Tommy Lee from Motley Crue, married to a sex symbol, and--”

“And in love with another sex symbol, named Nikki Sixx. I don’t really care. I can get whoever I want. That’s fucking sexy.

“OK. So, hypothetically, Heather aside. Say, her knowing is not a factor, you’d be completely OK with people like Mick, Vince, guys like Doc, and our fans knowing that you’re in love with a guy.”

“Nikki, you’re carrying this too far into an area we don’t need to go to. But to answer your question, I want to tell my sister. And quite frankly, I wouldn’t care if Vince and Mick knew about us. I’m convinced that Vince is game for at least one of us anyway. But fuck Doc and whoever else. He doesn’t need to know shit about me. As for our fans…. I don’t know, in some ways, it’s so super sexy to me, that I’d love to brag about fucking you. But, I know it’s not our image. At least I don’t think so. But I betcha there’s some fans that would be turned on, or a whole bunch of gay or bi guys that would suddenly be stimulated. I don’t know. It’s a non-issue, because the fact is, we’re not living in a hypothetical world without Heather, and she can’t know. Your sister can know. I want mine to know. And maybe Vince and Mick if it ever comes to that. They can go fuck themselves if they don’t like it.”

Nikki sighs, “Come on, T. Let’s go. Back out before my nephews wake up, and start banging on the windows for us to come back in. Go to a convenience store.”

Tommy drives back out to a main road to get to a store. Both stay silent during the brief ride.

“Here’s one,” Tommy says. “What are you getting?”

“I don’t know. Maybe coffee. I was thinking…. It’s pushing 5. Why don’t we get some food and drinks for the road, and head home. We can get dinner in Vancouver. Maybe call Vince and Mick to let them know that we’re back in the city. And…… well, maybe just spend some more time in the car after dinner. We can talk or do whatever, before we go back to our separate apartments.”

“What’s the whatever part?”

Nikki smirks, “I don’t know. Whatever, while we have this car. OK?”

“OK. You know, Nik. I had the best weekend with you. I think about how this went from a fascination with you when we first met, to a friendship, to a best friend, to a sexual desire, to making that happen, then realizing how much I love you after almost losing you, and now just knowing that I'm head over heels in love with you. I don’t ever want to live without you. I can’t live without you. And it’s such a hard thing for me to figure out. I mean, I have my wife too. And my feelings are really just the same. How can that be? My brain can’t figure it out.”

“Tom--”

“No wait, Nikki. Like I think things like if you 2 were drowning and I could only save one, I wouldn’t even have to think twice. I’d save Heather. I can’t see her hurt. It’s my duty to protect her. But, like, if I had to be stranded on an island with only one person for an indefinite amount of time, I want it to be you, Nikki.”

“Yeah because you can sacrifice me to the natives or the angry volcano, or use me for food.”

“Well, yeah, I guess that a bonus,” Tommy smirks. “But seriously, Nik, I’d want to be stuck with you. You just fucking send me over the moon. And you annoy the shit out of me too, but I just fucking love everything about you anyway. None of it makes sense. I get it to work in the physical realm of things, but never in my head. I just --”

“Tommy, can’t a mother love 2 children just the same? Well, not my mom, but a typical one?”

“I guess. I never thought of that.”

“Well start thinking like that. You’re making yourself crazy for nothing. You can love us both, and you don’t need to keep trying to figure out how that works, and envisioning scenarios where you have to kill me off or abandon her. It just can work without much effort. Like a mom and her children. They don’t go crazy trying to figure out how they love all of their kids just the same. They just love. Stop wrecking yourself. I’m the one that knows it’s a dual love situation, and I’m OK with it. I mean, I wish I could have you all to myself, but that doesn’t mean I don’t support you with the situation you’re in. If I’m OK, you should be OK. Just be yourself.”

“Nikki imparting relational wisdom for once. Must be a full moon tonight. You’re on point.”

“See. Maybe you’ll stop calling me dummy, now.”

“Nah. You still are on most days.”

“You just say that to make your own self feel better.”

“Even though you do say and do dumb things; a little secret, you’re right, I do. Because everyone else thinks that I’m dumb, and it gets old. You let me deflect some of that onto you; because you never get mad at me for saying it.”

“That’s what friends are for.”

“Friends?”

“With benefits?”

“Come on, Nik. What else? What else am I to you?”

“My rock. How’s that?”

“Better,” Tommy smiles shyly.

“I’d kiss you now, if we weren’t parked right by this store front,” Nikki says.

“We already got caught once, kissing in the car today. Come on, let’s get our stuff, so we can do that later.”

“Wait. Two things I want to tell you. One, you can tell your sister about us. I know you want to, and you talked about needing an outlet. I’ll sacrifice my pride for that. I don’t want to be ashamed of it. If there’s a few people around who can safely know about us, then let’s reveal it. Well, maybe not Mick and Vince right away. The time needs to be right. I need to work up to that, OK? And make sure that they’re both a safe bet, for your sake.”

“Really? Thanks. You don’t know what that means to me,” Tommy says, shedding a tear.

“I think I do,” Nikki says, taking his craggy finger to wipe the solitary tear away. I also wanted to reveal to you that the first time I met you, I knew that I had to have you in the band. After meeting you, no one else would do. I’m not saying it was attraction or fascination, as you say about me, but I liked you, kid. I just knew we were destined to become something. At the time I didn’t know that it would be this, but Tommy and Nikki would become something significant. I know you wanted to hear that.”

“Thanks, love. I think I’m a little speechless, so let’s get our stuff, so we can get on the road.”

“OK. Just coffee and bathroom pitstop for me, I think.”

“Just get water, not coffee, I’ll get the coffee for driving. When we get on the highway, push the armrest up. I want you to put your head on my lap and sleep while I drive. I know the rhythm of the car on the road usually puts you out after a while, my love. I just want you close to me while we have this time.”

“I like that. Come on, in and out, so we can go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed. Please feel free to leave feedback. Let me know if you want to see any other betas. I have a few more options, as continue on with finishing my book.


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